Numbers 11:15

Num 11:15 And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.

Ver. 15. And if thou deal thus with me.] Here the word Thou, spoken to God, is of the feminine gender. At, for Atta, - ex magna perturbatione, saith a Rabbin. Moses was so exceedingly moved with anger and grief, these passions did so overcarry him, that he could not complere vocem, utter his whole speech; as he that groaneth or gapeth in the beginning of his sentence cannot make up his breath to speak what he intended.

John Trapp, A Commentary or Exposition upon All the Books of the Old and New Testament (1647–1656) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Num 11:15. If thou deal thus with me, kill me — He begs that God would be pleased either to ease him of the burdensome charge, or take him out of the world, and rid him of a life so troublesome and insupportable. See my wretchedness — Hebrew, my evil, my torment, arising from the difficulty of my office, and work of ruling this people, and from the dread of their utter extirpation, and the dishonour which will thence accrue to thee and religion; as if not only I, but thou also wast a deceiver. He speaks like an affectionate father of a people who makes their sufferings his own. And, indeed, what could make a ruler of such paternal tenderness more distressed than to see the people he was appointed to govern so untoward, not only toward himself, but God? and to see them, by their perverseness, drawing down upon themselves such dire calamities, and the enemies of God rejoicing in their ruin?

Joseph Benson's Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (1811–1818) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

I had rather die than to see my grief and misery thus daily increase by their rebellion.

Geneva Bible (1599) marginal notes — public domain. Text via Bolls.life.

(15) Kill me, I pray thee, out of hand.—Or, Make an utter end of me.

A Bible Commentary for English Readers, edited by Charles John Ellicott (1878–1897) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

And if thou deal thus with me,.... Let the whole weight of government lie upon me, and leave the alone to bear it:

kill me, I pray thee, out of hand; take me out of the world at once, or "kill me now, in killing" (n); dispatch me immediately, and make a thorough end of me directly:

if I have found favour in thy sight; if thou hast any love for me, or art willing to show me a kindness, to remove me by death, I shall take as one:

and let me not see my wretchedness; or live to be the unhappy man I shall be; pressed with such a weight of government, affected and afflicted with the wants of a people I cannot relieve, or seeing them bore down with judgments and punishments inflicted on them for their sins and transgressions I am not able to prevail upon them to abstain from: so the Targum of Jerusalem,"that I may not see their evil, who are thy people;''so Abendana, and in the margin of some Hebrew copies, it is read,"this is one of the eighteen words, the correction of the scribes;''who, instead of "my wretchedness" or evil, corrected it, "their wretchedness" or evil; but Aben Ezra says there is no need of this correction.

(n) "occide me nunc occidendo", Drusius; "occide me jam, occide", Junius & Tremellius, Piscator.

John Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible (1746–1763) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

Evils. Hebrew, "my misfortune." The Rabbins say their, or thy, was formerly written, but corrected by the scribes. (Calmet) --- Moses fears the anger of God falling upon the people. (Haydock) --- It is very wonderful that the Hebrew text here retains the feminine pronoun att, instead of atta; thy, thee; as if Moses were addressing himself to some woman; and this absurd peculiarity is more absurdly accounted for, by saying that Moses was "so exasperated during this his address to the divine Being, as to be incapable of pronouncing both syllables!" The same mistake occurs [in] 1 Kings xxiv. 19. (Kennicott, i. 412.) God does not reprehend Moses as guilty of any disrespect or pusillanimity. (Haydock) --- The holy man prays with due submission to the will of the most High. (Worthington)

George Leo Haydock (1774–1849), Haydock's Catholic Family Bible and Commentary, 1859 edition — public domain. Excludes Psalms (Douay-Rheims chapter numbering differs from Protestant) and Deuterocanonical books (Catholic canon only).

Heb. my evil, i.e. my intolerable anguish and torment, arising from the insuperable difficulty of my office and work of ruling this people, and from the dread of their utter extirpation which they will bring upon themselves, and the dishonour which thence will accrue to God and to religion; as if not I only, but God also, were an impostor. Seeing is here put for feeling, as to see death, Psa 89:48; Luk 2:26, is to suffer it; and to see the salvation of God, Psa 50:23; 91:16, is to enjoy it.

Matthew Poole's English Annotations on the Holy Bible (1683–1685) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

15. Kill me… out of hand — That is, outright, by an instantaneous stroke. The oppressiveness of his official responsibility, and the depth of his despair in this temporary eclipse of faith, are here strikingly portrayed.

My wretchedness — His apprehended future failure and disgrace. Faith alone spans the future with the bow of hope. Unbelief always forebodes evil. Some MSS. read, “their wretchedness.” Thus the Jerusalem Targum, which adds “who are thy people.” Though the spirit of this prayer is reprehensible, no rebuke is administered by the longsuffering Jehovah. He who knoweth our frame saw in the heart of his servant no wilful apostasy.

Daniel D. Whedon (gen. ed.), Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (1874–1909) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, or "quite." Hebrew, grot, inf. abs. And let me not see my wretchedness. Let me not live to see the total failure of my hopes and efforts.

The Pulpit Commentary (1880–1919), ed. H.D.M. Spence-Jones & Joseph S. Exell — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

My wretchedness - Hebrew. my evil, my torment, arising from the insuperable difficulty of my office and work of ruling this people, and from the dread of their utter extirpation, and the dishonour which thence will accrue to God and to religion, as if, not I only, but God also were an impostor.

John Wesley, Explanatory Notes Upon the Whole Bible (1754–1765) — public domain. Text via the GEBible commentary corpus.

ואם ככה את עשה לי AND IF THOU DO THUS WITH ME [KILL ME, I PRAY THEE …] — The Hebrew word for “Thou” appears in the feminine form את instead of the masculine אתה to intimate that Moses’ strength grew weak as that of a woman when the Holy one, blessed be He, showed him the punishment which He was to bring in future upon them for this (for their sin). He, (Moses) therefore, said before Him, “If so, kill me first” (Sifrei Bamidbar 91).

ואל אראה ברעתי AND LET ME NOT SEE MY EVIL — It ought to have written (according to the Midrashic explanation above) “and let me not see their evil”, only that Scripture modified the expression (i.e. it used a euphemistic expression referring the evil to himself instead of to the whole people). This is one of the variations occurring in the Torah such as writers make for the purpose of modifying and improving the phrase (cf. Rashi on Genesis 18:22 and Midrash Tanchuma, Beshalach 16).

Rashi on the Tanakh — English translations: “The Judaica Press complete Tanach with Rashi, translated by A. J. Rosenberg” (CC BY 4.0); “Pentateuch with Rashi's commentary by M. Rosenbaum and A.M. Silbermann, 1929-1934” (public domain); “The Metsudah Tanach series, Lakewood, N.J” (CC BY 4.0); and “The Book of Joshua, Metsudah Publications, 1997” (CC BY 4.0). Text via Sefaria.

AND IF ‘AT’ (THOU) DO THUS WITH ME. “[The Hebrew word for Thou appears here in the feminine form at, instead of atah in the masculine, because] Moses’ strength grew weak, like that of a woman, because the Holy One, blessed be He, showed him the punishment He was to bring upon them for this [sin of theirs]. Moses then said to Him, ‘If so, kill me, I pray Thee.’” This is Rashi’s language. But I do not understand this. For the pronoun at refers here to Him on high, [for since it is Moses who is speaking in the verse, his use of the second-person pronoun must be referring to G-d; so how can Rashi explain that the feminine form is used to indicate that Moses’ strength weakened like that of a woman]! But according to the plain meaning of Scripture, the custom of the [Hebrew] language is [to use the form at] even when referring to a man, such as, ‘at’ (thou) the far-covering cherub. refers to k’ruv (cherub), which is a masculine noun. And by way of the Truth, [the mystic teachings of the Cabala], And if ‘at’ do thus with me refers to the attribute of justice [“attribute” in Hebrew being feminine, and the meaning of the verse is: “if it be decreed that the attribute of justice encounter me, then kill me, I pray Thee], just as it is said, and the anger of the Eternal was kindled greatly. Similarly, ‘v’at’ shalt speak unto us is a reference to the great fire, Verse 22. “Fire” can be feminine or masculine in Hebrew. from which you shall speak the words of G-d unto us, and we will hear it from your mouth, and do it. Similarly, ‘at’ the far-covering cherub refers to k’ruv (cherub), which is a masculine noun. alludes to the second cherub. The student versed [in the mystic lore of the Cabala] will understand.

HORGEINI NA HAROG’ (KILL ME, I PRAY THEE). This means that Thou should send upon me those that kill by the sword, for it is better for me to die even by the sword of man than to live with this grief. It is possible that the sense [of the term horgeini] is “take my life” [and not, as explained before, that it means death by human agency]. A similar [usage of the term is found in these verses]: and let their men be ‘harugei maveth’ (slain of death), and their young men smitten of the sword in battle; and breathe ‘baharugim ha’eileh’ (upon these slain). is to be understood literally: “upon those that were killed [by the sword]” (R’dak).

Ramban (Nachmanides) on the Tanakh — English translation: “Commentary on the Torah by Ramban (Nachmanides). Translated and annotated by Charles B. Chavel. New York, Shilo Pub. House, 1971-1976” (CC BY 4.0). Text via Sefaria.