Colossians 3:19

3:19 The exhortation to wives to submit to their husbands is immediately followed by a command to the husbands to love their wives (see also Eph 5:25-30; 1 Pet 3:7).

Tyndale Open Study Notes — © Tyndale Open Resources, licensed CC BY-SA 4.0. Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

Col 3:19. Μὴ πικραἰνεσθε, be not bitter) Πικρία, hateful conduct (offensive behaviour) mixed with love. Many, who are polite to all abroad, notwithstanding without scruple treat their wives and children at home with covert bitterness, because they do not fear them; and when this feeling is vanquished, it affords a specimen of great softening of natural ruggedness of temper.

Bengel's Gnomon of the New Testament — English translation (T&T Clark, Edinburgh, 1860) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Col_3:19. Comp. Eph_5:25 ff., where this love is admirably characterized according to its specifically Christian nature.

πικραίνεσθε] become not embittered, description of a spitefully cross tone and treatment. Plat Legg. v. p. 731 D; Dem. 1464. 18: μήτε πικραίνεσθαι μήτε μνησικακεῖν. Philo, Vit. Mos. II. p. 135. Comp. πικρῶς διακεῖσθαι πρός τινα, Polyb. iv. 14. 1; LXX. Exo_16:20; Rth_1:20; Ruth 3 Esdr. 4:31; ἐμπικραίνεσθαί τινι, Herod. v. 62.

Meyer — Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament — English translation by Peter Christie, edited by Frederick Crombie (T&T Clark, 1880) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Col 3:19 . μὴ πικραίνεσθε : i.e. , do not be harsh or irritable. Bengel defines πικρία as “odium amori mixtum,” which is acute, but “odium” is too strong.

The Expositor's Greek Testament, edited by W. Robertson Nicoll (1897–1910) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

He requireth of husbands, that they love their wives, and use them gently.

Geneva Bible (1599) marginal notes — public domain. Text via Bolls.life.

(Eph 5:22-33.)

be not bitter--ill-tempered and provoking. Many who are polite abroad, are rude and bitter at home because they are not afraid to be so there.

Jamieson, Fausset & Brown — Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible (1871) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

Verse 19. Be not bitter against them.] Wherever bitterness is, there love is wanting. And where love is wanting in the married life, there is hell upon earth.

Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible (1810–1826) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

(19) Be not bitter.—Properly, grow not bitter, suffer not yourselves to be exasperated. The word is used metaphorically only in this passage, literally in Rev_8:11; Rev_10:9-10.

A Bible Commentary for English Readers, edited by Charles John Ellicott (1878–1897) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

19. Husbands] Cp. Eph_5:25-33; 1Pe_3:7.

love] A word deepened and hallowed indefinitely by the Gospel, in reference to matrimonial truth and tenderness. See our note on Eph_5:25.

be not bitter] with the wretched irritability of a supposed absolute superiority and authority. “The husband’s primacy is not for dominion but for guidance, with sweetness, wisdom and peace” (Quesnel).—To be “bitter,” in the sense of angry, is a phrase of O.T. Greek. See the LXX. in e.g. Jeremiah 44 :(Heb. 37)15 (where A. V. reads “they were wroth”); Hab_1:6.—Cp. Eph_4:31.

The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges (gen. ed. J. J. S. Perowne; Cambridge University Press, 1878–1918) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Husbands, love your wives,.... See Gill on Eph 5:25.

and be not bitter against them; turning love into hatred of their persons; ruling with rigour, and in a tyrannical manner; behaving towards them in a morose, churlish, and ill natured way; giving them either bitter words, or blows, and denying them their affection, care, provision, protection, and assistance, but using them as servants, or worse. All which is barbarous, brutish, and unchristian, and utterly unbecoming the Gospel.

John Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible (1746–1763) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Ver. 19. Husbands, love your wives] He saith not, Rule over them, subdue them if they will not submit, but love them, and so win them to your will; make their yoke as easy as may be, for they stand on even ground with you, as yokefellows, though they draw on the left side. "Yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant," Mal 2:14. He therefore that is free may frame his choice to his mind; but he that hath chosen must frame his heart to his choice.

" Uxorem vir amato, marito pareat uxor:

Coniugis illa sui cor, caput ille suae."

And be not bitter against them] Nothing akin to Nabal, to those Chaldeans, a bitter and furious nation, or to that star, Rev 8:11, called wormwood, that embittereth the third part of the waters. The heathen, when they sacrificed at their marriage feasts, used to cast the gall of the beasts sacrificed outside; to signify that married couples should be as doves without gall. (Plut. praec, coniug.) Vipera virus ob venerationem nuptiarum evomit, saith Basil. The viper, going to copulate, vomiteth up her venom; and wilt not thou, for the honour of marriage, lay aside thy bitterness and boisterous behaviour?

John Trapp, A Commentary or Exposition upon All the Books of the Old and New Testament (1647–1656) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Husbands, love your wives ... - Notes, Eph 4:25-29.

Albert Barnes' Notes on the Bible (1834–1885) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

The husband’s duty is love, which the apostle doth ever inculcate from the most obliging considerations when he speaks of this relation; see Mat 19:6; 1Co 7:3, with Eph 5:25,33; to sweeten on the one hand the subjection of the wife, and to temper on the other hand the authority of the husband.

And be not bitter against them; who, that upon his authority he may not grow insolent, the apostle forbids him frowardness with his wife, thereby requiring a conversation with her full of sweetness and amity: wrath and bitterness is to be laid aside towards all others, Col 3:8, with Eph 4:31, much more towards his own wife, in whom he is to joy and delight, Pro 5:15,18,19; 1Pe 3:7.

Matthew Poole's English Annotations on the Holy Bible (1683–1685) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

19. Love your wives—As their head and protector, with Christ’s love for the Church as the model.

Be not bitter—Sharp, exasperated, the exact opposite and ruin of love.

Daniel D. Whedon (gen. ed.), Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (1874–1909) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Ye husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against (Eph_5:25-31; 1Pe_3:7) "Love" is ajgapaw, the word which expresses the highest spiritual affection as Christ loved the Church". (Eph_5:25) Here, first and most of all, the "new commandment" of new Joh_13:34 applies. St. Paul only uses the verb pikrai ("to make bitter") here, but he has the noun pikria ("bitterness") in a wider application in Eph_4:31. It denotes "exasperation," prompting to hasty severity. Bengel defines it as "odium amori mixtum hatred infused into love.

The duties of husbands.

"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

I THE DUTY OF LOVE. This love, which is consistent with his headship over her, implies:

1. That he is to delight in her, (Pro_5:18, Pro_5:19) and please her. (1Co_7:33)

1. That he is to cherish her as Christ the Church, (Eph_5:29) providing for her support and comfort. (1Ti_5:3)

2. That he is to protect her as the weaker vessel.

3. That he is not to be bitter against her, using bitter words or sour looks, acting rigorously or imperiously, as if she were a slave and not a companion.

4. That he is to seek her spiritual good, for she is to be an heir with him of the grace of life. (1Pe_3:7)

II THE REASONS OF THIS DUTY.

1. The intimacy of the relationship between them. He leaves father and mother to cleave to his wife. She is bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. (Eph_5:28, Eph_5:29, Eph_5:33)

1. She was originally provided as a help meet for him. (Gen_2:18) "Yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant". (Mal_2:14)

2. She is the glory of the man. (1Co_11:7)

3. The strongest argument is the analogous love of Christ to his Church. (Eph_5:25-28) T. C.

The Pulpit Commentary (1880–1919), ed. H.D.M. Spence-Jones & Joseph S. Exell — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Be not bitter - (Which may be without any appearance of anger) either in word or spirit.

John Wesley, Explanatory Notes Upon the Whole Bible (1754–1765) — public domain. Text via the GEBible commentary corpus.

Observe, 1. The general duty of the husband declared, to love his wife with a special, peculiar, conjugal affection, and to discover this love by a tender care over her, an affectionate regard to her, cohabitation with her, contentment and satisfaction in her, a patient bearing with her weaknesses, or prudential hiding of her infirmities, a cheerful supplying of her wants, a readiness to instruct and direct her, a willingness to pray for her, and with her; where true love is found these duties will be performed.

Observe, 2. A particular sin, which all husbands are to avoid in their conversation with their wives, and that is being bitter against them: not bitter in affection towards them, that is, cold and indifferent in their love to them; not bitter in expression towards them, speaking reproachfully to them; not bitter in their actions towards them, giving them bitter blows, which is contrary to the law of God and nature.

Learn hence, That it is the will and command of God, that husbands should not behave themselves churlishly, sourly, or imperiously towards their wives; not ruling with rigour or being morose and rough, stern and severe in their carriage towards them, but to treat them with that endearing familiarity that is due to them, as part of ourselves.

William Burkitt's Expository Notes on the New Testament (1700–1703) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

19. Husbands, love your wives. See notes on Eph. 5:25.

B. W. Johnson's The People's New Testament with Notes (1889–1891) — public domain. Electronic text from the Christian Classics Ethereal Library (CCEL) ThML edition.

19. οἱ ἄνδρες. On the article see Col 3:18.

ἀγαπᾶτε τὰς γυναῖκας. The command is enlarged in || Eph 5:25-33 and reasons are added.

In this relation above all others is love the fulfilling of the law.

καὶ μὴ πικραίνεσθε πρὸς αὐτάς, “and be not severe towards them.”

πικρ. is used literally in Rev 8:11; Rev 10:9-10.

Both according to derivation and according to the use of πικρία (see J. A. R. on Eph 4:31), “be not bitter “is a natural and even here possibly right translation. But with us “bitterness” implies a deep and generally half-cynical resentment, and the usage of πικραίνω, παραπικραίνω in the LXX. is far from being so uniform as to make this meaning necessary, for they are frequently used to translate Hebrew words signifying “to be angry,” “to provoke,” etc., e.g. Exo 16:20; Jeremiah 39(32):32; Deu 32:16 (παραπικρ. Β, ἐκπικρ. Α). Perhaps “be not cross” or “be not severe “would meet the case best. Cf. Jos. Antt. V. vii. 1, Abimelech acts tyrannically πρὸς τοὺς τοῦ δικαίου προισταμένους ἐκπικραινόμενος.

Cambridge Greek Testament for Schools and Colleges (Cambridge University Press, 1896; 21 vols, various authors incl. Carr, Maclear, Plummer, Farrar, Lumby, Moule, M. R. James, Simcox) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

19.] See the glorious expansion of this in Eph 5:25-33. πικραίνεσθαι occurs in the same sense in Demosth. 1464. 18: also in Plato, Legg. p. 731 d,—τὸν θυμὸν πραΰνειν κ. μὴ ἀκραχολοῦντα, γυναικείως πικραινόμενον, διατελεῖν. Kypke illustrates the word from Plutarch, de ira cohibenda, p. 457, ‘ubi dicit, animi prodere imbecillitatem quum viri πρὸς γύναια διαπικραίνονται:’ and from Eurip. Helen. 303: ἀλλʼ ὅταν πόσις πικρὸς | ξυνῇ γυναικί, κ. τὸ δῶμʼ ἐστι (lege σώζεσθαι) πικρόν, θανεῖν κράτιστον.

Henry Alford, The Greek Testament (1849–1861) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

19. οἱ ἄνδρες,κ.τ.λ. = Eph 5:25.

μὴ πικραίνεσθε. “Become not embittered,” or rather, as this would seem to imply a lasting temper, “show no bitterness.” The word occurs frequently in classical writers. Plato has (Legg. 731 D), τὸν θυμὸν πραΰνειν κ.μὴ ἀκραχολοῦντα, γυναικείως πικραινό μενον, διατελεῖν; Pseudo-Dem. 1464, μηδενὶ μήτε πικραίνεσθαι μήτε μνησικακεῖν.The adjective πικρός is used by Euripides in a strikingly illustrative passage, Helen. 303, ὅταν πόσις πικρὸς ξυνῇ γυναικί…θανεῖν κράτιστον. Plutarch observes that it shows weakness of mind when men πρὸς γύναια διαπικραίνονται. Philo uses πικραίνεσθαι of just anger. De Vita Moysis, ii. pp. 135, 20, and 132, 34. The word would seem, then, to correspond more nearly with the colloquial “cross” than with “bitter.”

International Critical Commentary — older volumes (1896–1929), various authors — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Be not bitter [μη πικραινεσθε] . Lit., be not embittered. Used only here by Paul. Elsewhere only in Revelation. The compounds parapikrainw to exasperate, and parapikrasmov provocation, occur only in Heb 3:16; Heb 3:8, 15. Compare Eph 4:31.

Marvin R. Vincent, Word Studies in the New Testament (1887–1900) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

ἀνῆκεν] The imperfect, as Ephes. v. 4 ἃ οὐκ ἀνῆκεν (the correct reading); comp. Clem. Hom. Contest. 3 τοῦδε μὴ μεταδοῦναι χάριν, ὡς οὐ προσῆκεν, Xen. de Re Equestr. xii. 14 ἃ ἱππάρχῳ προσῆκεν εἰδέναι τε καὶ πράττειν; and see D’Orville on Charito viii. 2 (p. 699 sq.). The common uses of the imperfect ἔδει, ἔπρεπεν, etc., in classical writers do not present a very exact parallel; for they imply that the thing which ought to have been done has been left undone. And so we might interpret Acts xxii. 22 οὐ γὰρ καθῆκεν αὐτὸν ζῆν (the correct reading). Here however there can hardly be any such reference; and the best illustration is the English past tense ‘ought’ (= ‘owed’), which is used in the same way. The past tense perhaps implies an essential à priori obligation. The use of χρῆν, ἔχρην, occasionally approximates to this; e.g. Eur. Andr. 423.

The idea of ‘propriety’ is the link which connects the primary meaning of such words as ἀνήκειν, προσήκειν, καθήκειν, ‘aiming at or pertaining to’, with their ultimate meaning of moral obligation. The word ἀνήκειν occurs in the New Testament only here and in the contemporary epistles, Ephes. v. 4, Philem. 8.

ἐν Κυρίῳ] probably to be connected with ὡς ἀνῆκεν, rather than with ὑποτάσσεσθε; comp. ver. 20 εὐάρεστόν ἐστιν ἐν Κυρίῳ.

19. μὴ πικραίνεσθε κ.τ.λ.] ‘show no bitterness, behave not harshly’; comp. Lynceus in Athen. vi. p. 242 C πικρανθείη πρός τινα τῶν συζώντων, Joseph. Ant. v. 7. I δεινῶς πρὸς τοὺς τοῦ δικαίου προϊσταμένους ἐκπικραινόμενος, Plut. Mor. p. 457 A πρὸς γύναια διαπικραίνονται. So also πικραίνεσθαι ἐπί τινα in the LXX, Jerem. xliv (xxxvii). 15, 3 Esdr. iv. 31. This verb πικραίνεσθαι and its compounds occur frequently in classical writers.

J. B. Lightfoot, St Paul's Epistles to the Colossians and Philemon: a revised text with introductions, notes and dissertations (London: Macmillan, 1875) — public domain. Electronic text from Project Gutenberg (ebook #50857). Covers Colossians and Philemon only (the verse-by-verse notes; introductions and dissertations are omitted); Lightfoot's companion Galatians and Philippians volumes are not included, as the available public-domain scans carry garbled Greek that cannot be faithfully reproduced.