Colossians 3:18

The apostle concludes the chapter with exhortations to relative duties, as before in the epistle to the Ephesians. The epistles which are most taken up in displaying the glory of divine grace, and magnifying the Lord Jesus, are the most particular and distinct in pressing the duties of the several relations. We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel religion.

I. He begins with the duties of wives and husbands (Col 3:18): Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Submission is the duty of wives, hupotassesthe. It is the same word which is used to express our duty to magistrates (Rom 13:1, Let every soul be subject to the higher powers), and is expressed by subjection and reverence, Eph 5:24, Eph 5:33. The reason is that Adam was first formed, then Eve: and Adam was not deceived, but the woman, being deceived, was in the transgression, Ti1 2:13, Ti1 2:14. He was first in the creation and last in the transgression. The head of the woman is the man; and the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man; neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man, Co1 11:3, Co1 11:8, Co1 11:9. It is agreeable to the order of nature and the reason of things, as well as the appointment and will of God. But then it is submission, not to a rigorous lord or absolute tyrant, who may do his will and is without restraints, but to a husband, and to her own husband, who stands in the nearest relation, and is under strict engagements to proper duty too. And this is fit in the Lord, it is becoming the relation, and what they are bound in duty to do, as an instance of obedience to the authority and law of Christ. On the other hand, husbands must love their wives, and not be bitter against them, Col 3:19. They must love them with tender and faithful affection, as Christ loved the church, and as their own bodies, and even as themselves (Eph 5:25, Eph 5:28, Eph 5:33), with a love peculiar to the nearest relation and the greatest comfort and blessing of life. And they must not be bitter against them, not use them unkindly, with harsh language or severe treatment, but be kind and obliging to them in all things; for the woman was made for the man, neither is the man without the woman, and the man also is by the woman, Co1 11:9, Co1 11:11, Co1 11:12.

II. The duties of children and parents: Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord, Col 3:20. They must be willing to do all their lawful commands, and be at their direction and disposal; as those who have a natural right and are fitter to direct them than themselves. The apostle (Eph 6:2) requires them to honour as well as obey their parents; they must esteem them and think honourably of them, as the obedience of their lives must proceed from the esteem and opinion of their minds. And this is well-pleasing to God, or acceptable to him; for it is the first commandment with promise (Eph 6:2), with an explicit promise annexed to it, namely, That it shall be well with them, and they shall live long on the earth. Dutiful children are the most likely to prosper in the world and enjoy long life. And parents must be tender, as well as children obedient (Col 3:21): "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Let not your authority over them be exercised with rigour and severity, but with kindness and gentleness, lest you raise their passions and discourage them in their duty, and by holding the reins too tight make them fly out with greater fierceness." The bad temper and example of imprudent parents often prove a great hindrance to their children and a stumbling-block in their way; see Eph 6:4. And it is by the tenderness of parents, and dutifulness of children, that God ordinarily furnishes his church with a seed to serve him, and propagates religion from age to age.

III. Servants and masters: Servants, obey your masters in all things according to the flesh, Col 3:22. Servants must do the duty of the relation in which they stand, and obey their master's commands in all things which are consistent with their duty to God their heavenly Master. Not with eye-service, as men-pleasers - not only when their master's eye is upon them, but when they are from under their master's eye. They must be both just and diligent. In singleness of heart, fearing God - without selfish designs, or hypocrisy and disguise, as those who fear God and stand in awe of him. Observe, The fear of God ruling in the heart will make people good in every relation. Servants who fear God will be just and faithful when they are from under their master's eye, because they know they are under the eye of God. See Gen 20:11, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God is not in this place. Neh 5:15, But so did not I, because of the fear of God. "And whatsoever you do, do it heartily (Col 3:23), with diligence, not idly and slothfully:" or, "Do it cheerfully, not discontented at the providence of God which put you in that relation." - As to the Lord, and not as to men. It sanctifies a servant's work when it is done as unto God - with an eye to his glory and in obedience to his command, and not merely as unto men, or with regard to them only. Observe, We are really doing our duty to God when we are faithful in our duty to men. And, for servants' encouragement, let them know that a good and faithful servant is never the further from heaven for his being a servant: "Knowing that of the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ, Col 3:24. Serving your masters according to the command of Christ, you serve Christ, and he will be your paymaster: you will have a glorious reward at last. Though you are now servants, you will receive the inheritance of sons. But, on the other hand, He who does wrong will receive for the wrong which he has done," Col 3:25. There is a righteous God, who, if servants wrong their masters, will reckon with them for it, though they may conceal it from their master's notice. And he will be sure to punish the unjust as well as reward the faithful servant: and so if masters wrong their servants. - And there is no respect of persons with him. The righteous Judge of the earth will be impartial, and carry it with an equal hand towards the master and servant; not swayed by any regard to men's outward circumstances and condition of life. The one and the other will stand upon a level at his tribunal.

It is probable that the apostle has a particular respect, in all these instances of duty, to the case mentioned 1 Cor. 7 of relations of a different religion, as a Christian and heathen, a Jewish convert and an uncircumcised Gentile, where there was room to doubt whether they were bound to fulfil the proper duties of their several relations to such persons. And, if it hold in such cases, it is much stronger upon Christians one towards another, and where both are of the same religion. And how happy would the gospel religion make the world, if it every where prevailed; and how much would it influence every state of things and every relation of life!

Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible (1708–1710) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

(18) As it is fit in the Lord.—For the explanation of this special fitness “in the Lord,” i.e., in virtue of Christian unity, see the grand description of Eph_5:23-24; Eph_5:32-33.

[6. Special Exhortation as to the relations of life.

(1) THE DUTY OF WIVES AND HUSBANDS (Col_3:18-19).

(2) THE DUTY OF CHILDREN AND PARENTS (Col_3:20-21).

(3) THE DUTY OF SLAVES AND MASTERS (Col_3:22 to Col_4:1).]

A Bible Commentary for English Readers, edited by Charles John Ellicott (1878–1897) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Col_3:18

Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands.

The Christian family

1. In the family, Christianity has signally displayed its power of refining, ennobling and sanctifying earthly relationships. Domestic life as seen in Christian homes is a purely Christian creation, and would have been a new revelation at Colossae as it is in many a mission field to-day.

2. Domestic happiness and family Christianity are made up of very homely elements. One duty is prescribed here for one member of each of the three family groups, and varying forms of another for the other. The wife, child, servant, are to obey; the husband to love, the father to show his love in gentle considerateness, the master to yield his servants their dues. Like some perfume distilled from common flowers which grow on every bank, the domestic piety which makes home a house of God and a gate of heaven, is prepared from these two simples--obedience and love.

I. The reciprocal duties of wives and husbands.

1. The Christian ideal of the wifes duty has for its centre subjection.

(1) Some will smile at that as a survival of a barbarous theory of marriage; but turn to Eph_5:22-33, and you will find that marriage is regarded from a high and sacred point of view. To Paul all earthly relationships were moulded after patterns of things in the heavens. What the Churchs subjection to Christ is, such is the wifes to the husband, a subjection of which love is the very soul. As in the loving obedience of the believing soul to Christ, the wife submits not because she has found a master, but because her heart has found its rest. Thus everything harsh and degrading disappears. It is a joy to serve where the heart is engaged, and that is eminently true of the feminine nature. For its full satisfaction a womans heart needs to look up, and to serve where it loves. In this nobler, purer, more unselfish love, as much as in physicial constitution, is laid the foundation of the Divine ideal of marriage.

(2) The subjection is limited by We must obey God rather than man, and there are cases in which on the principle of Tools to those who can use them, the rule falls to the wife as the stronger character. Popular sarcasm, however, shows this to be contrary to the true ideal. And then womans intellectual and moral qualities render it wise for a man to take her counsel. But all such considerations are consistent with apostolic teaching.

2. What of the husbands duty? He is to love.

(1) Because he loves he is not to be harsh. He is to be as patient and self-sacrificing as Christ, that he may bless and help. That solemn example lifts the whole emotion and carries the lesson that mans love is to evoke the womans subjection, just as in the heavenly pattern Christs love melts and moves human wills to glad obedience which is liberty.

(2) Where there is such love there will be no tenacious adherence to rights. Love uttering a wish speaks music to love listening, and love obeying the wish is free and a queen.

3. The young are to remember that the nobleness and heart repose of their whole lives may be made or marred by marriage, and to take heed where they fix their affections. If a man and woman love and marry in the Lord, He will be in the midst, a third who will make them one, and that threefold cord will not be quickly broken.

II. The reciprocal duties of children and parents--Obedience and gentle authority.

1. The injunction to children is laconic and universal.

(1) The only limitation is when Gods command is contradicted.

(2) The enforcement is that it is well pleasing in the Lord. To all who can appreciate the beauty of goodness is filial obedience beautiful. In Ephesians it is regarded as right appealing to the natural conscience.

(3) The idea of a fathers power and a childs obedience has been much softened by Christianity, but rather from the greater prominence given to love, than from the limitation given to obedience. There is now great laxity in reaction from the tee great severity of past times. Many causes lead to this. Children are better educated than their parents, and a sense of inferiority often makes a parent hesitate to command, as well as a misplaced tenderness makes him hesitate to forbid. But it is unkind to place on young shoulders the weight of too much liberty. Consult your children less, command them more.

(4) And as to children, here is the one thing God would have you do, and which is moreover pleasing to those whose approbation is worth having, and will save many a sting of conscience now which may tingle again when all too late. Remember Dr. Johnson standing bareheaded in Lichfield market-place, in remorseful remembrance of boyish disobedience.

2. The law for parents is addressed to fathers, partly because mothers have less need of it and partly because fathers are the head of the household.

(1).How do parents provoke their children? By unreasonable commands, by capricious jerks at the bridle alternating with capricious dropping of the reins altogether, ungovernable tempers, frequent rebukes and sparing praise. And what follows? Wrath, as Ephesians has it, and then apathy. I cannot please, whatever I do, leads to a rankling sense of unjustice and then to recklessness, it is useless to try. Pauls theory of the training of children is connected with his central doctrine, that love is the life of service, and faith the parent of righteousness. When a child loves and trusts, he will obey. Childrens obedience must be fed on love and praise.

(2) So parents are to let the sunshine of their smile ripen their childrens love to fruit of obedience, and remember that frost in spring scatters the blossoms on the grass. Many a father drives his child into evil by keeping him at a distance. He should make his boy a companion and a playmate, and try to keep him nearer to himself than to any one else; then his opinions will be an oracle, and his lightest wish a law.

(3) Parents would do well, too, to remember Eph_6:4, and Deu_6:6-7, and not relegate religious instruction to others. Children drift away from a faith which their parents do not care enough about to teach.

III. The reciprocal duties of masters and servants. Obedience and justice.

1. These servants are slaves. Paul recognized that sum of all villainies, but his gospel had principles which cut up slavery by the roots. Christ and His apostles did not war against it nor against any existing institutions--First make the tree good, etc. Mould men, and the men will mould institutions. And so slavery has died in all Christian lands now. But the principles laid down here are applicable to all forms of service.

2. Note the extent of the servants obedience.

(1) In all things, the limit again being Gods command, but inward completeness is insisted on, not with eye service, etc. We have a proverb about the worth of the masters eye, which bears witness that the same fault clings to hired service, and thus darkens into theft. All scamped work, all productions which are got up to look better than they are, all fussy parade of diligence when under inspection and slackness afterwards are transfixed here, But in singleness of heart, etc., with undivided motive, which is the antithesis and cure for eye service--and fearing God, which is opposed to pleasing men.

(2) Then follows the positive injunction, lifting obedience to an earthly master into a religious duty, and transfiguring the slaves lot. This evokes new powers, and renewed consecration.

(3) The stimulus of a great hope is added. Whatever their earthly masters failed to give them, if they are Christs they will be treated as sons and receive the sons portion. Christ remains in no mans debt.

(4) The last word is a warning against neglect of duty. The wrongdoer will receive retribution, but it does not warrant an inferiors breach of moral law. Two blacks do not make a white--a lesson to oppressed peoples and their champions.

3. Masters are bidden to give their slaves what is equitable. A start ling injunction respecting those who were chattels and not persons.

(1) The apostle does not define what is just and equal. The main thing was to drive home the conviction that there are duties owing to slaves and employes. We are far from: a satisfactory discharge of these yet, but everybody admits the principle--and we have mainly to thank Christianity for that. Paul does not say, Give them what is kind and patronizing. Charity likes to come in and supplies wants which would never have been felt had there been equity.

(2) The duty of masters is enforced by the fact that they have a Master who is to be their pattern. Give your servants what you expect and need to get from Christ. (A. Maclaren, D. D.)

Husbands and wives

The duty of the latter is put first, because obedience is more difficult and distasteful than love, and because the love of the husband largely depends on the subjection of the wife.

I. As to wives.

1. The proposition that wives ought to be subject to their husbands.

(1) In general this subjection is a Divine disposition whereby the more imperfect are subordinate to the more perfect, in order to their government and preservation. Without this, neither natural affairs, nor political societies, nor even the world could subsist. From whence follow--

(a) The author of creatures would not have them confounded through disorder (1Co_14:13).

(b) It is not the mark of a base but of a generous mind to be subject to his superiors. Every man in proportion to his depravity bears a ruler with rude impatience.

(c) Those who shake off the yoke of due subjection are blind to their own interests. Obedience is the mother of prosperity.

(2) In particular this subjection consists in--

(a) The internal act of the heart and the acknowledgment of the mind (Eph_5:33; 1Pe_3:6).

(b) Conformity of manners and affections. As a mirror adorned with gems and skilfully polished is nothing unless it express a true likeness of the person looking into it; so a wife, however endowed and beautiful, is nothing un less she render herself conformable to the manners of her husband (1Co_7:37).

(c) Performance of wifely duties--conjugal love (Gen_2:18; Tit_2:4; Pro_31:12)--care of the children and the house (Tit_2:4-5). The Egyptian women had no shoes, that they might learn to keep at home.

(3) The reasons for this subjection.

(a) The Divine appointment (Gen_3:16).

(b) The natural imperfection of the woman (1Pe_3:7).

(c) The order of creation. Woman was created after, out of, and for man (1Co_11:8-9).

(d) The transgression of the woman (1Ti_2:14).

(2) The disadvantage of refusing this subjection. The violation of natural order every where is productive of disastrous disturbances.

(4) The hindrances to this subjection.

(a) Pride, which makes the wife disesteem her husband as unworthy to command her. To obviate this evil let her remember that her husbands dignity and her own inferiority are not to be estimated from virtues, figure, nobility, or riches; but from Divine ordination; that pride is of the devil, who, as he incited Eve, instills the same poison into her daughters.

(b) Defect of love. She studies not to please her husband who is displeased with him. This evil will be avoided if parents would not compel their daughters to odious nuptials (Gen_24:57-58); if women would beware of marrying for honour and riches; and if after marriage they would avoid all occasions of offence.

(c) Foolish vanities, such as an immoderate desire of appearing in public, extravagance in dress, etc.

2. The limitation of the proposition--As it is fit in the Lord; as far as God permits, and as far as it is befitting women who are in the Lord. The occasion of this arose from the circumstance that many believing women were united to unbelieving husbands. If their husbands should strive to compel them to idolatrous worship they must resist (Act_5:29). The foundation for this is that all authority is derived from God and subordinate to Him. From whence it follows--

(1) That thus wives render a sub mission grateful to God Himself.

(2) That the wife is bound to be a companion of her husband in everything but sin.

(3) That it is impious to choose a husband who is likely to persuade his wife to do such things as are not fit in the Lord.

II. As to husbands.

1. The precept enjoining love.

(1) The affection of love itself is required. This gives the heart to the thing loved, which is the most precious gift, and that in which all else is given.

(2) This affection will express itself

(a) In living at home, delighted with the wifes presence and company, and not seeking others in preference (Pro_5:18-19). This effect we see in Christs love toward His Church (Mat_28:20).

(b) In direction and instruction in all those things which relate to this life and the next (1Co_14:35), because both are partners in earthly things and heirs together of the grace of life (1Pe_3:7).

(c) Provision of all necessary things, in imitation of Christs care of His Church. He who neglects this, subjects himself to heavy censure (1Ti_5:8).

(3) In order to perform this duty let a man beware of marrying--

(a) By the eyes alone, i.e., choosing for mere external beauty. Love which rests on such an unstable foundation cannot be firm and constant.

(b) By the fingers, i.e., choosing for money. The man who does this seeks not a wife but a money porter, and after he has laid his claws on the money, he regards not of a straw the porter.

2. The injunction forbidding bitterness. Plutarch says, They who sacrificed at the rites of Juno, took out the gall of the victim, signifying by the ceremony that it was not fit that bile and bitterness should enter into the married state. The bitterness here prohibited shows itself--

(1) In the affections. Without saying or doing anything injurious a husband embittered against his wife can make her life exceedingly bitter. That this is to be avoided we gather

(a) from the precept itself, which admits of no exception. As a wife is bound to obey her husband in spite of his many imperfections, so the husband is bound to love the wife notwithstanding hers.

(b) From the example of Christ (Eph_5:29).

(2) In words. A tender mind is wounded no less by bitter words, than the body is by sharp weapons.

(3) In actions. God gave not Eve to Adam as a slave but as a companion and helpmeet. This tyranny is exercised

(a) when the wife is removed from domestic rule and degraded to the rank of a maid, even perhaps subjected to one of them, (Pro_31:27; Tit_2:5).

(b) When things pertaining to her dignity or necessity are denied.

(c) When she is treated with cruelty. (Bp. Davenant.)

Relative duties--husbands and wives

The root of all society is the family. (Gen_2:18; Psa_68:6). The real strength and virtue of a nation consist to a great extent in the purity of family ties; and in this, more than anything else socially, has the religion of Christ blessed the world. Of the domestic institution, conjugal life and love are the very element and fountain (Eph_5:25-33; Tit_2:4-5; 1Pe_3:1-7).

I. The duty of the wife.

1. The subjection is not that of a drudge or slave, to be ruled by force. It means that in the home, as everywhere else, order is heavens first law. If there is to be peace and happiness in the home there must not be two co-ordinate authorities. The husband is to be the house-band--the strength and bond of the family. The submission required of a wife involves--

(1) A sense of dependence. In many things this is unavoidable, she being the weaker vessel, and created in a condition of dependence (1Co_11:8-9). When she tried to lead her husband and undertook to govern, the issue was disastrous for both. This dependence is touchingly illustrated in the social sympathy for, and Divine promises to widows, because she is deprived of her earthly prop and stay.

(2) A feeling of deference. Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. Many husbands, it may be said, do not deserve this, and the wife may sometimes take advantage of a husbands weakness for his good. If a woman has married a man she cannot respect, she may have herself to blame; but his weakness does not exempt her from the duty of honouring him as her husband. If he abdicate hie position, she may be obliged to take the lead, yet the true wife will strive to do it in such a way as not to wound him.

(3) A spirit of devotedness. It is beautiful to see a loving wife clinging hopefully and prayerfully to a bad husband. Just as forbidding is it to hear a wife complaining all round the parish. A good wife will care for her husbands comfort and character as her own; and when he is harassed will do her best to make him forget his anxieties (Pro_31:10-12).

2. The reason for this injunction--as it is fit in the Lord. It is God s will that it should be so, and also the dictate of common sense. Where there are two wills seeking for mastery there will be wrangling and bitterness. But the wife is not a slave to do the bidding of a taskmaster, losing in a mechanical obedience the sense of responsibility. No! she may not do wrong to please her husband. Her own relation to God will determine the standard of right and limit of duty. How much has a Christian wife in her power I By submission she may gain conquests for Christ, and commend the Lord whom she supremely loves.

II. The duty of the husband. The sum and fountain of all other duties is love.

1. Positively--love your wives.

1. Paul does not say as the complement of submission, Rule your wives wisely, keep them in their position. The rule of love is sweet and easily borne. Either side is, perhaps, apt to forget its own special obligation: the wife is not so likely to forget her love as her subjection, nor the husband his authority as his love. But he will most surely and fully receive the acknowledgment due to him who truly loves; and she will be most tenderly loved who shows most heartily deference. Let the love which won the youthful bride be continued and augmented.

2. This love must be manifested. It is too often taken as a matter of course. Contact with the world often deadens the susceptibilities, and love is left to care for itself and struggle for a precarious existence. But the wife craves for love, and a tone of tenderness will make her soul brighten for days amid the manifold cares of home. It is one thing to be silly in the expression of a rapturous fondness and quite another to be manly in the exhibition of a sincere affection. If a man is not ashamed of being married he ought not to be ashamed of showing his love, in, e.g., preferring his wifes society, in seeking to please her, in taking an interest in those things which specially occupy her thought. And she has a right to expect it amidst the monotony of her household cares.

2. Negatively--Be not bitter against them. It is possible to have a general sentiment of affection and yet to be bitter. This spirit is grossly wrong in a Christian man to the woman who has given up all for him. It may be exhibited in surly silence as well as in sharp words. There will be need of forbearance on both sides. Some homes, alas, are in a state of chronic conflict. He commands imperiously; she resists proudly. Some men are pleasant and genial abroad, but churlish at home. Marriage is left us as a wreck saved from Paradise; according to our spirit and conduct it will be either a reminder of paradise lost, or a help towards paradise regained. (J. Spence, D. D.)

Wife: meaning of the word

It literally means a weaver. The wife is the person who weaves. Before our great factories arose, one of the great employments in every house was the fabrication of clothing; every family made its own. The wool was spun into thread by the girls, who were therefore called spinsters; the thread was woven by their mother, who was accordingly called the weaver or the wife; and another remnant of this old truth we discover in the word heirloom, applied to any old piece of furniture which has come down to us from our ancestors, and which, though it may be a chair or bed, shows that a loom was once the most important piece of furniture in the house. Thus in the word wife is wrapped up a hint of earnest, indoor, stay-at-home occupations, as being fitted for her who bears this name.

Qualities of a wife

A good wife should be like three things; which three things she should not be like.

1. She should be like a snail, to keep within her own house; but she should not be like the snail to carry all she has upon her back.

2. She should be like an echo, to speak when spoken to; but she should not be like an echo, always to have the last word.

3. She should be like a town clock, always to keep time and regularity; but she should not be like a town clock, speak so loud that all the town may hear her. (Old writer.)

The value of submissiveness in wives

A pleasure-loving husband boasted of the good temper of his wife; and a wager was laid that she would rise at midnight and give the company a supper with perfect cheerfulness. It was put to the test, and the boast of the husband was: found true. One of the company thus addressed the lady, Madam, your civility fills us with surprise. Our unreasonable visit is in consequence of a wager which we have certainly lost. As you cannot approve of our conduct, give me leave to ask what can possibly induce you to behave with so much kindness to us? Sir, she replied, When I married, my husband and myself were both unconverted. It has pleased God to call me out of that dangerous condition. My husband continues in it. I tremble for his future, and therefore try to make his: present as comfortable as possible. I thank you for the warning, my dear, said her husband, by the grace of God I will change my conduct. From that time he became another man. (E. Foster.)

A considerate wife

When Mr. Disraeli retired from office he was offered an earldom. He declined it with the intimation that if there was any reward thought to be deserved, he wished it to be conferred upon his wife, to whom he attributed all his success. His wife therefore became Viscountess Beaconsfield. On the day, long before this, when he was to unfold the Budget, he entered the carriage absorbed in thought, his wife quietly taking her seat beside him. In getting in, her finger was caught by the door, which shutting upon it held it so fast that she could not withdraw it. Fearful of driving figures and arguments from his head, she uttered no cry nor made any movement until they reached the House; nor did Disraeli hear of it till long after. All that evening the faithful wife sat in the gallery, that her husbands quick eye might not miss her from it, bearing her pain like a martyr, and like a woman who loves. (E. Foster.)

Husband: meaning of the word

It means literally the band of the house, the support of it, the person who keeps it together, as a band keeps together a sheaf of corn. There are many married men who are not husbands, because they are not bands of the house. In many cases the wife is the husband, who by her prudence and economy keeps the house together. The man who by his dissolute habits strips his house of all comfort, is only a husband in a legal sense. He is not a houseband; instead of keeping things together he scatters them. (E. Foster.)

Husbands love

Tiberius Gracchus, the Roman, finding two snakes in his bed, and consulting with the soothsayers, was told that one of them must be killed; yet, if he killed the male, he himself would die shortly; if the female, his wife would die. His love to his wife, Cornelia, was so great, that he killed the male, saith Plutarch, and died quickly. (G. Swinnock, M. A.)

A wife not loved too much

Rowland Hill often felt much grieved at the false reports which were circulated of many of his sayings, especially those respecting his publicly mentioning Mrs. Bill. His attentions to her till the close of life were of the most gentlemanly and affectionate kind. The high view he entertained of her may be seen from the following fact:--A friend having informed Mr. Hill of the sudden death of a lady, the wife of a minister, remarked, I am afraid our dear minister loved his wife too well, and the Lord in wisdom has removed her. What, Air? replied Mr. Hill, with the deepest feeling, can a man love a good wife too much? Impossible, sir, unless he can love her better than Christ loves the Church. (C. H. Spurgeon.)

Husbands love reciprocated

Xenophon relates, that when Cyrus had taken captive a young prince of Armenia, together with his beautiful and blooming wife, of whom he was remarkably fond, they were brought before the tribunal of Cyrus to receive their sentence. The warrior inquired of the prince what he would give to be reinstated in his kingdom, and he replied that he valued his crown and his liberty at a very low rate; but if the noble conqueror would restore his beloved wife to her former dignity and possessions, he would willingly pay his life for the purchase. The prisoners were dismissed, to enjoy their freedom and former honours; and each was lavish in praises of the conqueror. And you, said the prince, addressing his wife, what think you of Cyrus? I did not observe him, she replied. Not observe him! exclaimed her husband; upon whom, then, was your attention fixed? Upon that dear and generous man, she replied, who declared his readiness to purchase my liberty at the expense of his life. (Christian Age.)

The influence of a wife

The tear of a loving girl, says an old book, is like a dewdrop on a rose; but one on the cheek of a wife is a drop of poison to her husband. Try to appear cheerful and contented, and your husband will be so, and when you have made him happy, you will become so, not in appearance but in reality. The skill required is not so great. Nothing flatters a man so much as the happiness of his wife: he is always proud of himself as the source of it. (J. Moser.)

A wifes influence

As I was conversing with a pious old man, I inquired what were the means of his conversion. For a moment he paused. I perceived I had touched a tender string. Tears gushed from his eyes, while, with deep emotion, he replied, My wife was brought to God some years before myself. I persecuted and abused her because of her religion. She, however, returned nothing but kindness, constantly manifesting an anxiety to promote my comfort and happiness; and it was her amiable conduct, when suffering ill treatment from me, that first sent the arrows of conviction to my soul. (N. Y. Observer.)

The Biblical Illustrator, edited by Joseph S. Exell (c. 1880s–1900s) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Col 3:18-25. Wives, submit yourselves — Or be subject; to your own husbands — Whether they be Christians or heathen. See on Eph 5:22. As it is fit — Both in regard of God’s command, and the evil that would arise from the neglect of this duty; in the Lord — In obedience to the Lord, and in all lawful things. Husbands, love your wives — As yourselves, and as Christ loved the church: see Eph 5:25; Eph 5:28. And be not bitter — Harsh and rigorous, either in spirit, word, or deed; against them(Which may be the case without any manifest appearance of anger,)

but kind and obliging. Children, obey your parents — See on Eph 6:1; in all things — Namely, lawful; for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord — The Lord Christ, who, when he dwelt in flesh, was a constant example of filial piety, not only to his real mother, but to him who was only his supposed father, Luk 2:51. Fathers, provoke not your children — Deal not harshly or severely with them, so as to alienate their affections from you; lest they be discouraged — From attempting to please you, when it shall seem to be an impossible task. See on Eph 6:4. Rigorous treatment may also occasion their becoming stupid. Servants, obey in all things — That are lawful, 1Pe 2:18; your masters according to the flesh — See on Eph 6:5 : Obey even their rigorous commands; not with eye-service — Being more attentive to their orders, and diligent, when under their eye, than at other times; as men- pleasers — As persons who are solicitous only to please men; but in singleness of heart — With a simple intention of pleasing God by doing right, without looking any further; fearing God — That is, acting from this principle. And whatsoever ye do — Whatever ye are employed in; do it heartily — Cheerfully, diligently; as to the Lord — Whose eye, you know, is upon you. Men-pleasers are soon dejected and made angry; the single- hearted are never displeased or disappointed, because they have another aim, which the good or evil treatment of those they serve cannot disappoint. Knowing that of the Lord (see on Eph 6:8) ye shall receive the reward, &c. — Be rewarded with the inheritance of eternal life. For ye serve the Lord Christ — Namely, in serving your masters according to his command. But he that doeth wrong — Whether master or servant; shall receive for the wrong, &c. — A just punishment. The greatness of the temptations to which rich men are exposed, by their opulence and high station, will be no excuse for their tyranny and oppression; and, on the other hand, the temptations which the insolence and severity of a tyrannical master hath laid in the way of his servant, will be no excuse for his idleness and unfaithfulness; and there is no respect of persons — With him: that is, in passing sentence, and distributing rewards and punishments, God does not consider men according to their outward condition, nation, descent, wealth, temporal dignity, &c, but only according to their spirit and conduct. “Though the word δουλος, here and elsewhere used by St. Paul, properly signifies a slave, our English translators, in all places, when the duties of slaves are inculcated, have justly translated it servant; because, anciently, the Greeks and Romans had scarce any servants but slaves, and because the duties of the hired servant, during the time of his service, are the same with those of the slave. So that what the apostle said to the slave, was in effect said to the hired servant. Upon these principles, in translations of the Scriptures designed for countries where slavery is abolished, and servants are free men, the word δουλος may with truth be translated a servant. In this, and the parallel passage, (Eph 6:5,) the apostle is very particular in his precepts to slaves and lords, because in all the countries where slavery was established, many of the slaves were exceedingly addicted to fraud, lying, and stealing; and many of the masters were tyrannical and cruel to their slaves.” — Macknight.

Joseph Benson's Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (1811–1818) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

3. Special social duties, Col_3:18 to Col_4:1.

a. Wives and husbands, Col_3:18, Col_3:19.

18. Wives—This and the following verses have their parallels nearly verbatim, though often expanded by argument or illustration, in Eph_5:22, etc., where see the notes.

Fit in the Lord—In their relation as Christians, for in a Christian marriage the husband is the divinely ordained head of the wife.

Daniel D. Whedon (gen. ed.), Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (1874–1909) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

CRITICAL AND EXPLANATORY NOTES

Col_3:18. As it is fit in the Lord.—See Eph_5:22. The feeling of propriety St. Paul emphasises here, and limits it “in the Lord.”

Col_3:19. Be not bitter against them.—As love in its most degraded form might alternate with paroxysms of anger, St. Paul uses the nobler word for Christian love which casts out hatred as well as fear.

MAIN HOMILETICS OF THE PARAGRAGH.—Col_3:18-19

Duties of Husbands and Wives.

After the apostle has laid down the law of duty for the government of all Christians in the general conduct of life, he proceeds to show the application of the same law to the domestic relationships. Obedience to the law in the general is an excellent preparation for observing it in the particular: the best Christian will make the best husband or wife. The morality of Christianity is one of its brightest glories and most beneficent influences; it provides for the purity and happiness of domestic life, and where it rules all is peace, love, and contentment. Where polygamy prevails, as in heathen and Mahometan countries, the most lamentable domestic complications occur, and all is distraction and misery. The family is the source and pattern of society. If the family is corrupt and disorganised, society suffers. A holy, well-regulated household is a regenerative force in society. It is in the home that the social principle finds its highest development. There the tenderest feelings are roused, the deepest and most permanent impressions made, the foundation and first rough outlines of what we may become laid down and indicated, the first principle of good or evil imbibed, and the mightiest moral forces brought into play. Much, therefore, depends upon the understanding that exists between the husband and wife, and the way in which they discharge their mutual duties, as to what shall be the character of the household government. The apostle, in enforcing these relative duties, mentions the three classes which divide the domestic circle—husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants. He begins with the inferior relation in each class—wife, child, servant—perhaps, because the difficulty of obedience is greater, because in disputes it is the duty of the humbler party to submit, and because the discharge of duty by that party is the surest method of securing it in the other.

I. The duty of the wife is submission to the husband.—“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands” (Col_3:18).

1. This implies dependence.—It is the divine order that “the husband is the head of the wife.” In point of nature, and of their relation to God, they are both equal; but when brought into the married relation the husband has the first place, and the wife, as the weaker vessel, and under a sense of dependence, is called to submit. Where the order is reversed, and the wife takes the lead, mischief is sure to ensue. Not that woman is to be the slave and drudge of her husband; but the relationship between the two ought to be so adjusted by the power of religion that the wife is never rudely reminded of her state of dependence.

2. Implies respect.—It is difficult to respect some men, and still more difficult to love where we cannot respect. But the apostolic injunction is emphatic: “Let the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Though the husband be a reckless, incapable ne’er-do-well, the wife is to respect the position of her husband and show him deference as the head of the family. Alas! how many a noble woman has had her life embittered by a worthless husband, but who, with a heroism, truly sublime, and a love truly angelical, has bravely done her duty and striven to screen the faults of the man who caused her misery.

3. Implies obedience in all things lawful.—St. Peter refers to “the holy women in the old time, being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” (1Pe_3:5-6). A true wife is wholly devoted to her husband. She will care for his person, property, health, character, and reputation, as for her own. In all things reasonable and lawful she will rejoice to meet the requests of her husband and follow his counsel.

II. The submission of the wife to the husband is governed by religious principle.—“As it is fit in the Lord” (Col_3:18). The wife is first to submit herself fully to Christ, and, from love to Him, to submit herself to her own husband, and to look upon her subjection as service done to Christ. This will be a consolation and strength to her in many an unkind word from a cruel, apathetic, and unappreciative husband. It would never do for two wills to be ruling a family. There would be endless clashing and confusion. It is the divine arrangement that the husband is the head of the house, and “it is fit in the Lord” that the wife should be in subjection. She is not to forget her responsibility to God in a slavish, unreasoning, and sinful obedience to her husband. Governed by a pure and lofty religious principle, she may so fulfil her duty as to win, or at least disarm, her unreasonable partner. A wise submission may sometimes work wonders. She stoops to conquer. An old writer has said: “A wife is ordained for man, like a little Zoar—a city of refuge to fly to in all his troubles.”

III. The duty of the husband is to show affection towards the wife.—

1. This affection is to be genuinely manifested. “Husbands, love your wives” (Col_3:19). Obligation is not all on one side. The husband is not less bound to discharge his duty to his wife than the wife to him. Love is the sum of the husband’s duty, and that which will regulate every other. Where love rules, the family circle becomes a tranquil and cherished haven of rest, peace, harmony, and joy. Nor is it enough that this affection should be recognised as a matter of course—let it be manifested. That woman is a strange, heartless shrew who is unaffected by the gentle evidences of a devoted and manly love. The true wife needs, craves for, and knows how to appreciate a genuine and evident affection. Let the husband show the same tender and considerate regard to his wife as life advances and cares multiply as when he stood by her side at the altar, a lovely and confiding bride.

2. This affection is to be free from harshness.—“And be not bitter against them” (Col_3:19). It is evidently implied that the love of a Christian heart may be marred by a sour and morose temper. It is ungenerous and cruel to vent upon his wife and family the anger which the man had not the courage to display before those who roused it when mixing among them in the world. Bitterness may be manifested as much by a cold, repulsive silence as by the most stinging words of sharp and angry reproof, or by the irritating actions of a wilful and tantalising conduct. It is a species of savage and fiendish brutality for a husband to study how he can inflict the keenest torture on a loving and submissive nature. It sometimes requires the most assiduous art of the tenderest affection to repair the damage done by a single word. Amid the perplexities and trials of married life many occasions will arise in which mutual patience and forbearance will need to be exercised. Let love reign supreme, and banish the first symptoms of a harsh and churlish disposition.

Lessons.—

1. Be careful whom you marry.

2. Beware of the first quarrel.

3. Bear with Christian resignation the life-consequences of an unfortunate choice.

4. Connubial bliss is attained only by the faithful exercise of mutual duties.

The Preacher's Complete Homiletical Commentary (gen. ed. Joseph S. Exell; Funk & Wagnalls, c. 1892) — public domain (pre-1929). A full-Bible homiletical/sermon-outline anthology covering 65 of 66 books (2 John is absent from the source module). Text from a community e-Sword module.

3. Specific exhortations

Col_3:18 to Col_4:1

a) To wives and husbands

(Col_3:18-19)

18Wives, submit yourselves unto your own [omit own]29 husbands, as it is fit [or as it 19should be]30 Husbands, love your31 wives, and be not bitter [or embittered] against them.

EXEGETICAL AND CRITICAL

Col_3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands.—See on Eph_5:22. Αἰ γυςαῖκες is found there also, while instead of ὑποτάσσεσθε, ὑποτασσόμενοι must there be supplied from the verse preceding. Τοῖς ἀνδράσιν does not refer to men as a category but the given, proper men [i. e., “husbands,” as in E. V.—R.].

As it should be in the Lord.—The imperfect denotes this pre-supposition: that what was exhorted, was not as yet attended to (as Eph_5:4. Winer’s Gram. p. 254); hence it means: “as it should be,” corresponding with the fellowship which has in Christ its life-sphere. This is applied somewhat differently in Eph_5:22 : “as unto the Lord.” There the dignity of the man is made more prominent, by comparing the husband to Christ and the wife to the Church. It is incorrect to join “in the Lord” to “submit” (Chrysostom and others), or to take ἀνῆκεν as a perfect with a present signification (Huther, Bleek also).

Husbands, love your wives.—See Eph_5:25.—And be not bitter against them.—[Ellicott renders μὴκικραίνεσθε, “be not embittered”—referring it to a state of mind, rather than to specific acts.—R.] This special warning concerns a foul blot in married life, when the husband, as head of the house, not as head of the wife, not in love to her, but ruled by the old man, either shows bitterness in word or deed, or in tone, to the wife, should she be wanting in humility and submission, or have violated or disregarded the household right of the husband; or treats her with indifference, neglect or harshness, without any fault of hers, from the cares and weariness of business, or the changing moods of the flesh, or mere habit. The preposition πρός “against,” denotes the direction only; it does not necessarily imply hostility towards the wife; she need only learn from his conduct, that in his false self-love he does not love her as himself, but as one unregenerate might do. Bengel: πικρία odium amori mixtum; multi, quiforis erga omnes humani sunt, tamen domi in uxorem ac liberos, quos videlicet non tement, occulta facile acerbitate utuntur, quæ ubi vincelur, specimen est magnæ mansuetudinis.

[Steiger would account for this special exhortation here and in Eph. by the supposition that the doctrine of the false teachers had developed a dangerous licentiousness. But had there been a polemic reference, the Apostle would have entered into the subject more fully, and not been content with these simple exhortations (Meyer). The social morality of these Asiatic cities was undoubtedly debased, but this was the case throughout the whole Roman empire. From this briefer form of the exhortation, Ellicott infers that our Epistle was written before that to the Ephesians.—R.]

DOCTRINAL AND ETHICAL

Compare notes on Eph_5:22-23.

HOMILETICAL AND PRACTICAL

Starke :—That there are so few wedlocks which are properly regulated and rightly enjoyed on both sides, arises usually from the fact of the wife’s avoiding submission, or of the husband’s not knowing how to govern properly.—The male sex has usually more fire than the female, so that it can easily happen that a man in his power goes too far and deals too hardly with his wife.

Rieger:—Most of the mistakes of married life are consequences of the sins of youth, especially of those seductive blandishments under which the marriages were formed.—Even that which is polluted, should any one in a time of ignorance be betrayed into a dubious union, may be washed away, cleansed and sanctified.—He who knows and considers his loveless heart, as God’s word discloses to men their natural evil disposition, and by these two words especially: hard-heartedness and anger, will dig deeply and lay well the foundation in his love.—Negligence in affection is itself the first rupture of the marriage tie. But in love we have a fortress that can stand many an assault.

Passavant:—It is exceedingly painful and saddening, to be forced by the reports of missionaries, to see at what a low grade of intelligence and in what a sorrowful condition in general, woman is kept among heathen nations—the Birmese perhaps and the Karens excepted—with what neglect and contempt and abuse she is treated.—Over the grave of many a great man, of many a sleeping saint, often too of one snatched as a brand from the burning, stands in lines, that angels read: he had a pious mother!—The man is the head; a high vocation, a higher power and strength, and a great responsibility! It pre-supposes quiet wisdom, earnest character, rational sway with benevolence—bearing, forbearing, patience, with mildness and friendliness;—and this cannot exist with a firm, faithful, ever equal love, without holy love toward the wife’s soul, before the Lord.—This exhortation of the Apostle pre-supposes also, that there will be many an opportunity of becoming embittered, and that the wife’s nature will be the occasion of it. Yet the husband should not allow himself to be overcome by the weaker vessel; but here there must be humility and bowing of heart before God every day.

Heubner:—Bitterness steals upon us at the very first in the closest unions, as we discover the weaknesses of another, or where there are many hastinesses. The husband can be easily led into this, if the wife does not-gratify his wish.

[Schenkel :—Why Christian morality requires the submission of the wife in the household.—The dangers of bitterness in married life: 1) Its extent; 2) Its causes; 3) Its results.

Schleiermacher:—The regulation of household life. It should be so regulated, that 1) all that is done, is done in the name of Jesus; 2) that thanks are in every way given to God, through the conduct of our household life.—R.]

Footnotes:

[29]Col_3:18.—Some MSS. have inserted, probably from the parallel passage [Eph_5:22], τοῦς ἰδίοις, omitted in א. A. B. C. and others.

[30]Col_3:18.—[Ἀνῆκεν, imperfect, Ellicott renders as above.—R.]

[31]Col_3:19.—א. A. B. and others omit ὑμῶν after γυναῖκας. [Retained by Lachmann, Meyer and others. In any case, “your” is required by our English idiom.—R.]

Lange's Commentary on the Holy Scriptures (Critical, Doctrinal, and Homiletical), ed. John Peter Lange, English translation edited by Philip Schaff (1864–1880) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Section 2. (Col 3:18-25; Col 4:1-6.)

The Relationships of life.

We have had the character of the new man put before us with a completeness which might make us think that the whole range of Christian duty was contained in it. What are we called to recognize or "put on," but this new man?

But the new man is the man in Christ, and the place in Christ takes one outside of human distinctions; for "in Christ there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female" (Gal 3:28). And thus the most fundamental natural distinction seems to be set aside.

We have, however, to learn that Scripture is larger than our thoughts, and that the God of creation is that of redemption also. As long, therefore, as we are in the unchanged body of the old creation, we are subject to the ordinances which He has made for it. Doubtless also, there are higher purposes to be worked out in this way; but our point is now, the steadfast way in which God maintains His own thoughts, and will have us maintain and honor them. Husbands, wives, parents, children, are thus natural relationships established of God, and honorable in all, as the apostle says of marriage (Heb 13:4).

But there are other relations here which are not established of God, but have come in through sin, as that of master and slave: here one might expect that there could be nothing but (as among Christians at least) the prohibition absolutely of such. This is a matter important enough to be in effect (though not formally) the subject of a distinct epistle, which finds place as supplementary to this; we shall examine it, therefore, in that connection. Here, however, we see that the slave or bondman is addressed as such, and (what is more to the purpose) the master also.

After this there is insisted on the duty to those who are without, outside of Christian claim, but not of the all-embracing love which in Christ came after the lost, -a love to which we owe our every blessing also, who were all once outside, and among the lost. In this review of relationships, therefore, the apostle will not omit one that is so real as this, however different from, and indeed in contrast with all others,

1. Relationships ordained by the Creator come here first, and are indeed the shadow of higher and spiritual ones. This, however, which Ephesians develops so fully as to marriage, is not in any way referred to here. We have but brief exhortations, which are for the most part repetitions of those in Ephesians; we shall not do more, therefore, than point out how these repetitions emphasize what is the main responsibility in each case. Those who are in authority are to exercise it in love -a love that seeketh not its own; while it is for those under authority to yield obedience as to the Lord: a thing which gives it at once a needed guard from any weak sufferance of evil, while making the hardest task that in which "thy God hath commanded thy strength;" so that His strength may be reckoned on for its accomplishment.

2. This principle is carried out in application to the poor slave, who is now Christ’s servant, and thus truly free. If the Lord has appointed him a lowly and trying service, it will not be counted a dishonor to him in the day of final recompense, when servant and master will stand before their common Master, to receive, not according to the place they may have filled, but according to the faithfulness with which they have filled it. The Master then will be One who has filled Himself the very lowest place to serve us all.

3. This naturally leads on to what in this day and world is truest service, and as to which Paul had a special commission, the manifestation of the mystery of Christ, against which all the world is, and he who is the usurping "prince of this world;" so that, if it is to have way, God must open a door for it. For this, therefore, the apostle seeks the prayers of the disciples, and in general that they persevere in prayer, watching, as in expectation of answer, and with thanksgiving, which implies the tender and encouraging remembrance of abundant mercy. But indeed the very fact of having such a gospel to pray for may well be the greatest encouragement: how could He, who at such a cost has provided salvation, fail to answer the desire of heart which is so completely in sympathy with His own heart? Here is that as to which we may pray therefore with boldness and confident expectation; and here is the secret of confidence, when we have learned to identify ourselves with Christ’s interests upon the earth as our real concern. With Paul himself there certainly was no other, as we well know.

4. Finally, apart from the direct preaching of the gospel, we are to "walk in wisdom towards those that are without, redeeming opportunities:" for in a world under Satan’s power there will not be always such. For this reason one must be ready when the time comes. At all times, also, the speech is to be characterized by grace, the "salt" of divine holiness preserving this from passing over into mere laxity and inability to stand for God. This in fact alone is grace; but the holiness of grace is as far as possible from that of law, though law is holy. A Christian, as one who owes all to grace, falsifies his testimony if he shows a spirit of legality; nor will there be wisdom found in this way to "answer," or meet according to their need, the various conditions of those around. We must be in the spirit of Christ (which grace is) in order to do His work.

F. W. Grant, The Numerical Bible (4th ed., 1903) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

18–21. The section from 3:18 to 4:1, is very similar to Eph. 5:22 to 6:9. I will refer the reader to Ephesians for fuller notes. Wives, submit yourselves. See notes on Eph. 5:22.

B. W. Johnson's The People's New Testament with Notes (1889–1891) — public domain. Electronic text from the Christian Classics Ethereal Library (CCEL) ThML edition.

Chapter 3 Part 6

THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY

Col_3:18-25; Col_4:1 (R.V.)

This chapter deals with the Christian family, as made up of husband and wife, children, and servants. In the family, Christianity has most signally displayed its power of refining, ennobling, and sanctifying earthly relationships. Indeed, one may say that domestic life, as seen in thousands of Christian homes, is purely a Christian creation, and would have been a new revelation to the heathenism of Colossae, as it is today in many a mission field.

We do not know what may have led Paul to dwell with special emphasis on the domestic duties, in this letter, and in the contemporaneous Epistle to the Ephesians. He does so, and the parallel section there should be carefully compared throughout with this paragraph. The former is considerably more expanded, and may have been written after the verses before us; but, however that may be, the verbal coincidences and variations in the two sections are very interesting as illustrations of the way in which a mind fully charged with a theme will freely repeat itself, and use the same words in different combinations and with infinite shades of modification. The precepts given are extremely simple and obvious. Domestic happiness and family Christianity are made up of very homely elements. One duty is prescribed for the one member of each of the three family groups, and varying forms of another for the other. The wife, the child, the servant are bid to obey; the husband to love, the father to show his love in gentle considerateness; the master to yield his servants their dues. Like some perfume distilled from common flowers that grow on every bank, the domestic piety which makes home a house of God, and a gate of heaven, is prepared from these two simples-obedience and love. These are all. We have here then the ideal Christian household in the three ordinary relationships which make up the family; wife and husband, children and father, servant and master.

I. The Reciprocal Duties of wife and husband-subjection and love.

The duty of the wife is "subjection," and it is enforced on the ground that it is "fitting in the Lord"-that is "it is," or perhaps "it became" at the time of conversion, "the conduct corresponding to or befitting the condition of being in the Lord." In more modern language-the Christian ideal of the wifes duty has for its very centre-subjection.

Some of us will smile at that; some of us will think it an old-fashioned notion, a survival of a more barbarous theory of marriage than this century recognises. But, before we decide upon the correctness of the apostolic precept, let us make quite sure of its meaning. Now, if we turn to the corresponding passage in Ephesians, we find that marriage, is regarded from a high and sacred point of view, as being an earthly shadow and faint adumbration of the union between Christ and the Church.

To Paul, all human and earthly relationships were moulded after the patterns of things in the heavens, and the whole fleeting visible life of man was a parable of the "things which are" in the spiritual realm. Most chiefly, the holy and mysterious union of man and woman in marriage is fashioned in the likeness of the only union which is closer and more mysterious than itself, namely that between Christ and His Church.

Such then as are the nature and the spring of the Churchs "subjection" to Christ, such will be the nature and the spring of the wifes "subjection" to the husband. That is to say, it is a subjection of which love is the very soul and animating principle. In a true marriage, as in the loving obedience of a believing soul to Christ, the wife submits not because she has found a master, but because her heart has found its rest. Everything harsh or degrading melts away from the requirement when thus looked at. It is a joy to serve where the heart is engaged, and that is eminently true of the feminine nature. For its full satisfaction, a womans heart needs to look up where it loves. She has certainly the fullest wedded life who can "reverence" her husband. For its full satisfaction, a womans heart needs to serve where it loves. That is the same as saying that a womans love is, in the general, nobler, purer, more unselfish than a mans, and therein, quite as much as in physical constitution, is laid the foundation of that Divine ideal of marriage, which places the wifes delight and dignity in sweet loving subjection.

Of course the subjection has its limitations. "We must obey God rather than man" bounds the field of all human authority and control. Then there are cases in which, on the principle of "the tools to the hands that can use them," the rule falls naturally to the wife as the stronger character. Popular sarcasm, however, shows that such instances are felt to be contrary to the true ideal, and such a wife lacks something of repose for her heart.

No doubt, too, since Paul wrote, and very largely by Christian influences, women have been educated and elevated, so as to make mere subjection impossible now, if ever it were so. Womans quick instinct as to persons, her finer wisdom, her purer discernment as to moral questions, make it in a thousand cases the wisest thing a man can do to listen to the "subtle flow of silver-paced counsel" which his wife gives him. All such considerations are fully consistent with this apostolic teaching, and it remains true that the wife who does not reverence and lovingly obey is to be pitied if she cannot, and to be condemned if she will not.

And what of the husbands duty? He is to love, and because he loves, not to be harsh or bitter, in word, look, or act. The parallel in Ephesians adds the solemn, elevating thought, that a mans love to the woman, whom he has made his own, is to be like Christs to the Church. Patient and generous, utterly self-forgetting and self-sacrificing, demanding nothing, grudging nothing, giving all, not shrinking from the extreme of suffering and pain and death itself-that he may bless and help-such was the Lords love to His bride, such is to be a Christian husbands love to his wife. That solemn example, which lifts the whole emotion high above mere passion or selfish affection, carries a great lesson too as to the connection between mans love and womans "subjection." The former is to evoke the latter, just as in the heavenly pattern, Christs love melts and moves human wills to glad obedience, which is liberty. We do not say that a wife is utterly absolved from obedience where a husband fails in self-forgetting love, though certainly it does not lie in his mouth to accuse, whose fault is graver than, and the origin of, hers. But, without going so far as that, we may recognise the true order to be that the husbands love, selfsacrificing and all-bestowing, is meant to evoke the wifes love, delighting in service, and proud to crown him her king.

Where there is such love, there will be no question of mere command and obedience, no tenacious adherence to rights, or jealous defence of independence. Law will be transformed into choice. To obey will be joy; to serve, the natural expression of the heart. Love uttering a wish speaks music to love listening; and love obeying the wish is free and a queen. Such sacred beauty may light up wedded life, if it catches a gleam from the fountain of all light, and shines by reflection from the love that binds Christ to His Church as the links of the golden beams bind the sun to the planet. Husbands and wives are to see to it that this supreme consecration purifies and raises their love. Young men and maidens are to remember that the nobleness and heart repose of their whole life may be made or marred by marriage, and to take heed where they fix their affections. If there be not unity in the deepest thing of all, love to Christ, the sacredness and completeness will fade away from any love. But if a man and woman love and marry "in the Lord," He will be "in the midst," walking between them, a third who will make them one, and that threefold cord will not be quickly broken.

II. The Reciprocal Duties of children and parents-obedience and gentle, loving authority. The injunction to children is laconic, decisive, universal. "Obey your parents in all things." Of course, there is one limitation to that. If Gods command looks one way and a parents the opposite, disobedience is duty-but such extreme case is probably the only one which Christian ethicsadmit as an exception to the rule. The Spartan brevity of the command is enforced by one consideration, "for this is well pleasing in the Lord," as the Revised Version rightly reads, instead of "to the Lord," as in the Authorised, thus making an exact parallel to the former "fitting in the Lord." Not only to Christ, but to all who can appreciate the beauty of goodness, is filial obedience beautiful. The parallel in Ephesians substitutes "for this is right," appealing to the natural conscience. Right and fair in itself, it is accordant with the law stamped on the very relationship, and it is witnessed as such by the instinctive approbation which it evokes.

No doubt, the moral sentiment of Pauls age stretched parental authority to an extreme, and we need not hesitate to admit that the Christian idea of a fathers power and a childs obedience has been much softened by Christianity; but the softening has come from the greater prominence given to love, rather than from the limitation given to obedience.

Our present domestic life seems to me to stand sorely in need of Pauls injunction. One cannot but see that there is great laxity in this matter in many Christian households, in reaction perhaps from the too great severity of past times. Many causes lead to this unwholesome relaxation of parental authority. In our great cities, especially among the commercial classes, children are generally better educated than their fathers and mothers, they know less of early struggles, and one often sees a sense of inferiority making a parent hesitate to command, as well as a misplaced tenderness making him hesitate to forbid. A very misplaced and cruel tenderness it is to say "would you like?" when he ought to say "I wish." It is unkind to lay on young shoulders "the weight of too much liberty," and to introduce young hearts too soon to the sad responsibility of choosing between good and evil. It were better and more loving by far to put off that day, and to let the children feel that in the safe nest of home, their feeble and ignorant goodness is sheltered behind a strong barrier of command, and their lives simplified by having the one duty of obedience. By many parents the advice is needed-consult your children less, command them more.

And as for children, here is the one thing which God would have them do: "Obey your parents in all things." As fathers used to say when I was a boy-"not only obedience, but prompt obedience." It is right. That should be enough. But children may also remember that it is "pleasing"-fair and good to see, making them agreeable in the eyes of all whose approbation is worth having, and pleasing to themselves, saving them from many a bitter thought in after days, when the grave has closed over father and mother. One remembers the story of how Dr. Johnson, when a man, stood in the market place at Lichfield, bareheaded, with the rain pouring on him, in remorseful remembrance of boyish disobedience to his dead father. There is nothing bitterer than the too late tears for wrongs done to those who are gone beyond the reach of our penitence. "Children, obey your parents in all things," that you may be spared the sting of conscience for childish faults, which may be set tingling and smarting again even in old age.

The law for parents is addressed to "fathers," partly because a mothers tenderness has less need of the warning "provoke not your children," than a fathers more rigorous rule usually has, and partly because the father is regarded as the head of the household. The advice is full of practical sagacity, How do parents provoke their children? By unreasonable commands, by perpetual restrictions, by capricious jerks at the bridle, alternating with as capricious dropping of the reins altogether, by not governing their own tempers, by shrill or stern tones where quiet, soft ones would do, by frequent checks and rebukes, and sparing praise. And what is sure to follow such mistreatment by father or mother? First, as the parallel passage in Ephesians has it, "wrath"- bursts of temper, for which probably the child is punished and the parent is guilty-and then spiritless listlessness and apathy. "I cannot please him whatever I do," leads to a rankling sense of injustice, and then to recklessness-"it is useless to try any more." And when a child or a man loses heart, there will be no more obedience. Pauls theory of the training of children is closely connected with his central doctrine, that love is the life of service, and faith the parent of righteousness. To him hope and gladness and confident love underlie all obedience. When a child loves and trusts, he will obey. When he fears and has to think of his father as capricious, exacting, or stern, he will do like the man in the parable, who was afraid because he thought of his master as austere, reaping where he did not sow, and therefore went and hid his talent. Childrens obedience must be fed on love and praise. Fear paralyses activity, and kills service, whether it cowers in the heart of a boy to his father, or of a man to his Father in heaven. So parents are to let the sunshine of their smile ripen their childrens love to fruit of obedience, and remember that frost in spring scatters the blossoms on the grass. Many a parent, especially many a father, drives his child into evil by keeping him at a distance. He should make his boy a companion and playmate, teach him to think of his father as his confidant, try to keep his child nearer to himself than to anybody beside, and then his authority will be absolute, his opinions an oracle, and his lightest wish a law. Is not the kingdom of Jesus Christ based on His becoming a brother and one of ourselves, and is it not wielded in gentleness and enforced by love? Is it not the most absolute of rules? And should not the parental authority be like it-having a reed for a sceptre, lowliness and gentleness being stronger to rule and to sway than the "rods of iron" or of gold which earthly monarchs wield?

There is added to this precept, in Ephesians, an injunction on the positive side of parental duty: "Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." I fear that is a duty fallen woefully into disuse in many Christian households. Many parents think it wise to send their children away from home for their education, and so hand over their moral and religious training to teachers. That may be right, but it makes the fulfilment of this precept all but impossible. Others, who have their children beside them, are too busy all the week. and too fond of "rest" on Sunday. Many send their children to a Sunday school chiefly that they themselves may have a quiet house and a sound sleep in the afternoon. Every Christian minister, if he keeps his eyes open, must see that there is no religious instruction worth calling by the name in a very large number of professedly Christian households; and he is bound to press very earnestly on his hearers the question, whether the Christian fathers and mothers among them do their duty in this matter. Many of them, I fear, have never opened their lips to their children on religious subjects. Is it not a grief and a shame that men and women with some religion in them, and loving their little ones dearly, should be tongue tied before them on the most important of all things? What can come of it but what does come of it so often that it saddens one to see how frequently it occurs-that the children drift away from a faith which their parents did not care enough about to teach it to them? A silent father makes prodigal sons, and many a grey head has been brought down with sorrow to the grave, and many a mothers heart broken, because he and she neglected their plain duty, which can be handed over to no schools or masters-the duty of religious instruction. "These words which I command thee, shall be in thine heart; and thou shalt teach them diligently to thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house."

III. The Reciprocal Duties of servants and masters-obedience and justice.

The first thing to observe here is that these "servants" are slaves, not persons who have voluntarily given their work for wages. The relation of Christianity to slavery is too wide a subject to be touched here. It must be enough to point out that Paul recognises that "sum of all villainies," gives instructions to both parties in it, never says one word in condemnation of it. More remarkable still; the messenger who carried this letter to Colossae carried in the same bag the Epistle to Philemon, and was accompanied by the fugitive slave Onesimus, on whose neck Paul bound again the chain, so to speak, with his own hands. And yet the gospel which Paul preached has in it principles which cut up slavery by the roots; as we read in this very letter, "In Christ Jesus there is neither bond nor free." Why then did not Christ and His apostles make war against slavery? For the same reason for which they did not make war against any political or social institutions. "First make the tree good and his fruit good." The only way to reform institutions is to elevate and quicken the general conscience, and then the evil will be outgrown, left behind, or thrown aside. Mould men and the men will mould institutions. So Christianity did not set itself to fell this upas tree, which would have been a long and dangerous task; but girdled it, as we may say, stripped the bark off it, and left it to die-and it has died in all Christian lands now.

But the principles laid down here are quite as applicable to our form of domestic and other service as to the slaves and masters of Colossae.

Note then the extent of the servants obedience-"in all things." Here, of course, as in former cases, is there presupposed the limit of supreme obedience to Gods commands; that being safe, all else is to give way to the duty of submission. It is a stern command, that seems all on the side of the masters. It might strike a chill into many a slave, who had been drawn to the gospel by the hope of finding some little lightening of the yoke that pressed so heavily on his poor galled neck, and of hearing some voice speaking in tenderer tones than those of harsh command. Still more emphatically, and, as it might seem, still more harshly, the Apostle goes on to insist on the inward completeness of the obedience-"not with eye service (a word of Pauls own coining) as men pleasers." We have a proverb about the worth of the masters eye, which bears witness that the same fault still clings to hired service. One has only to look at the next set of bricklayers one sees on a scaffold, or of haymakers one comes across in a field, to see it. The vice was venial in slaves; it is inexcusable, because it darkens into theft, in paid servants-and it spreads far and wide. All scamped work, all productions of mans hand or brain which are got up to look better than they are, all fussy parade of diligence when under inspection and slackness afterwards-and all their like which infect and infest every trade and profession, are transfixed by the sharp point of this precept.

"But in singleness of heart," that is, with undivided motive, which is the antithesis and the cure for "eye service"-and "fearing God," which is opposed to "pleasing men." Then follows the positive injunction, covering the whole ground of action and lifting the constrained obedience to the earthly master up into the sacred and serene loftiness of religious duty, "whatsoever ye do, work heartily," or from the soul. The word for work is stronger than that for do, and implies effort and toil. They are to put all their power into their work, and not be afraid of hard toil. And they are not only to bend their backs, but their wills, and to labour "from the soul," that is, cheerfully and with interest-a hard lesson for a slave and asking more than could be expected from human nature, as many of them would, no doubt, think. Paul goes on to transfigure the squalor and misery of the slaves lot by a sudden beam of light-"as to the Lord"-your true "Master," for it is the same word as in the previous verse-"and not unto men." Do not think of your tasks as only enjoined by harsh, capricious, selfish men, but lift your thoughts to Christ, who is your Lord, and glorify all these sordid duties by seeing His will in them. He only who works as "to the Lord" will work "heartily." The thought of Christs command, and of my poor toil as done for His sake, will change constraint into cheerfulness, and make unwelcome tasks pleasant, and monotonous ones fresh, and trivial ones great. It will evoke new powers and renewed consecration. In that atmosphere, the dim flame of servile obedience will burn more brightly, as a lamp plunged into a jar of pure oxygen.

The stimulus of a great hope for the ill-used, unpaid slave is added. Whatever their earthly masters might fail to give them, the true Master whom they really served would accept no work for which He did not return more than sufficient wages. "From the Lord ye shall receive the recompense of the inheritance." Blows and scanty food and poor lodging may be all that they get from their owners for all their sweat and toil, but if they are Christs slaves, they will be treated no more as slaves, but as sons, and receive a sons portion, the exact recompense which consists of the "inheritance." The juxtaposition of the two ideas of the slave and the inheritance evidently hints at the unspoken thought, that they are heirs because they are sons-a thought which might well lift up bowed backs and brighten dull faces. The hope of that reward came like an angel into the smoky huts and hopeless lives of these poor slaves. It shone athwart all the gloom and squalor, and taught patience beneath "the oppressors wrong, the proud mans contumely." Through long, weary generations it has lived in the hearts of men driven to God by mans tyranny, and forced to clutch at heavens brightness to keep them from being made mad by earths blackness. It may irradiate our poor lives, especially when we fail, as we all do sometimes, to get recognition of our work, or fruit from it. If we labour for mans appreciation or gratitude, we shall certainly be disappointed; but if for Christ, we have abundant wages beforehand, and we shall have an over-abundant requital, the munificence of which will make us more ashamed of our unworthy service than anything else could do. Christ remains in no mans debt. "Who hath first given, and it shall be recompensed to him again?"

The last word to the slave is a warning against neglect of duty. There is to be a double recompense-to the slave of Christ the portion of a son; to the wrongdoer retribution "for the wrong that he has done." Then, though slavery was itself a wrong, though the master who held a man in bondage was himself inflicting the greatest of all wrongs, yet Paul will have the slave think that he still has duties to his master. That is part of Pauls general position as to slavery. He will not wage war against it, but for the present accept it. Whether he saw the full bearing of the gospel on that and other infamous institutions may be questioned. He has given us the principles which will destroy them, but he is no revolutionist, and so his present counsel is to remember the masters rights, even though they be founded on wrong, and he has no hesitation in condemning and predicting retribution for evil things done by a slave to his master. A superiors injustice does not warrant an inferiors breach of moral law, though it may excuse it. Two blacks do not make a white. Herein lies the condemnation of all the crimes which enslaved nations and classes have done, of many a deed which has been honoured and sung, of the sanguinary cruelties of servile revolts, as well as of the questionable means to which labour often resorts in modern industrial warfare. The homely, plain principle, that a man does not receive the right to break Gods laws because he is ill-treated, would clear away much fog from some peoples notions of how to advance the cause of the oppressed.

But, on the other hand, this warning may look towards the masters also; and probably the same double reference is also to be discerned in the closing words to the slaves, "and there is no respect of persons." The servants were naturally tempted to think that God was on their side, as indeed He was, but also to think that the great coming day of judgment was mostly meant to be terrible to tyrants and oppressors, and so to look forward to it with a fierce unChristian joy, as well as with a false confidence built only on their present misery. They would be apt to think that God did "respect persons," in the opposite fashion from that of a partial judge-namely, that He would incline the scale in favour of the ill-used, the poor, the down trodden; that they would have an easy test and a light sentence, while His frowns and His severity would be kept for the powerful and the rich who had ground the faces of the poor and kept back the hire of the labourer. It was therefore a needful reminder for them, and for us all, that that judgment has nothing to do with earthly conditions, but only with conduct and character; that sorrow and calamity here do not open heavens gates hereafter, and that the slave and master are tried by the same law.

The series of precepts closes with a brief but most pregnant word to masters. They are bid to give to their slaves "that which is just and equal," that is to say, "equitable." A startling criterion for a masters duty to the slave who was denied to have any rights at all. They were chattels, not persons. A master might, in regard to them, do what he liked with his own; he might crucify or torture, or commit any crime against manhood either in body or soul, and no voice would question or forbid. How astonished Roman lawgivers would have been if they could have heard Paul talking about justice and equity as applied to a slave! What a strange new dialect it must have sounded to the slave owners in the Colossian Church! They would not see how far the principle, thus quietly introduced, was to carry succeeding ages; they could not dream, of the great tree that was to spring from this tiny seed precept; but no doubt the instinct which seldom fails an unjustly privileged class, would make them blindly dislike the exhortation, and feel as if they were getting out of their depth when they were bid to consider what was "right" and "equitable" in their dealings with their slaves.

The Apostle does not define what is "right and equal." That will come. The main thing is to drive home the conviction that there are duties owing to slaves, inferiors, employes. We are far enough from a satisfactory discharge of these yet; but, at any rate, everybody now admits the principle- and we have mainly to thank Christianity for that. Slowly the general conscience is coming to recognise that simple truth more and more clearly, and its application is becoming more decisive with each generation. There is much to be done before society is organised on that principle, but the time is coming-and till it is come, there will be no peace. All masters and employers of labour, in their mills and warehouses, are bid to base their relations to "hands" and servants on the one firm foundation of "justice." Paul does not say, Give your servants what is kind and patronising. He wants a great deal more than that. Charity likes to come in and supply the wants which would never have been felt had there been equity. An ounce of justice is sometimes worth a ton of charity.

This duty of the masters is enforced by the same thought which was to stimulate the servants to their tasks: "ye also have a Master in heaven." That is not only Stimulus, but it is pattern. I said that Paul did not specify what was just and right, and that his precept might therefore be objected to as vague. Does the introduction of this thought of the masters Master in heaven take away any of the vagueness? If Christ is our Master, then we are to look to Him to see what a master ought to be, and to try to be masters like that. That is precise enough, is it not? That grips tight enough, does it not? Give your servants what you expect and need to get from Christ. If we try to live that commandment for twenty-four hours, it will probably not be its vagueness of which we complain. "Ye have a Master in heaven" is the great principle on which all Christian duty reposes. Christs command is my law, His will is supreme, His authority absolute, His example all-sufficient. My soul, my life, my all are His. My will is not my own. My possessions are not my own. My being is not my own. All duty is elevated into obedience to Him, and obedience to Him, utter and absolute, is dignity and freedom. We are Christs slaves, for He has bought us for Himself, by giving Himself for us. Let that great sacrifice win our hearts love and our perfect submission. "O Lord, truly I am Thy servant, Thou hast loosed my bonds." Then all earthly relationships will be fulfilled by us; and we shall move among men, breathing blessing and raying out brightness, when in all we remember that we have a Master in heaven, and do all our work from the soul as to Him and not to men.

William Robertson Nicoll, ed., The Expositor's Bible (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1887–1910) — public domain. 65 of 66 books (1 Corinthians is not separately keyed, as that volume carries no machine-parseable verse references); section-level commentary keyed to the opening verse. Introductory and overview sections not keyed to a specific passage are excluded.

3:18–4:1 This series of exhortations is called a household code. Paul gives instructions to wives (3:18), husbands (3:19), children (3:20), fathers (3:21), slaves (3:22-25), and masters (4:1). Such codes appear in Greco-Roman writers and elsewhere in the New Testament (see Eph 5:22–6:9; 1 Pet 2:18–3:7).

3:18 To submit is to recognize one’s place under someone else in a social order. Such submission always implies that God is at the top and that his will is paramount (cp. Acts 4:19-20; 5:29).

Tyndale Open Study Notes — © Tyndale Open Resources, licensed CC BY-SA 4.0. Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

Col 3:18 to Col 4:1. Αἱ γυναῖκες, κ.τ.λ., wives, etc.) Eph 5:22 to Eph 6:9.—ἐν Κυρίῳ, in the Lord) These words are construed with ὑποτάσσεσθε, submit yourselves; comp. Eph 6:1: or else with ὡς ἀνῆκεν, as it is fit; comp. in this view Col 3:20, unless ὑπακούετε, obey, Col 3:20, be there likewise construed with ἐν Κυρίῳ. It may be construed either way.

Bengel's Gnomon of the New Testament — English translation (T&T Clark, Edinburgh, 1860) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Col_3:18 to Col_4:1.[164] Instructions for the different portions of the household. Why Paul should have given to the churches such a table of household rules only in this Epistle and in that to the Ephesians (comp. also 1 Tim. and Tit.), must be left wholly undecided (Chrysostom exhausts himself in conjectures). They are not polemical; but possibly, in the presence of a theosophico-ascetic atmosphere, the practical rules of healthy domestic life seemed to him the more seasonable. They do not contain traces of a later development of church-life (Holtzmann). The circumstance that the precepts for the several forms of domestic society uniformly (Col_3:18; Col_3:20; Col_3:22 ff.) begin with the subordinate party, as also at Eph_5:21 ff., is to be regarded as having occurred without any set purpose; the idea of obedience was primarily present to the writers mind. If Pauls aim had been to counteract the abuse of Christian freedom and equality, or in other words, perverse desires for emancipation, he would not have considered so weighty a purpose sufficiently met by the mere mode of arrangement, but would have entered upon the matter itself (in opposition to Huther and de Wette); and this we should have to assume that he would have done also in the event of his having had in view an attitude of resistance on the part of those bound to obedience as the thing most to be feared (in opposition to Hofmann). Just as much might such an attitude be a thing to be feared from the stronger party. Respecting the nominatives in the address, see especially Stallbaum, ad Plat. Symp. p. 172 A.

ὡς ἀνῆκεν] not the perfect (with present signification), as Huther thinks and Bleek does not disapprove, but the imperfect, which has its logical reference in the ἐν κυρίῳ to be connected with it: as was fitting in the Lord, i.e. as was becoming in the relation of the ἐν Χριστῷ εἶναι (Phm_1:8), as was appropriate to the Christian state, but had not yet been in this way realized. The imperfect (comp. Act_22:22) denotes, therefore, as also in ΧΡῆΝ and ἜΔΕΙ, the incomplete condition, which extends even into the present. See Kühner, II. 1, p. 176 f.; Bernhardy, p. 373. Similarly, Winer, p. 254 [E. T. 338]. Comp. also Buttmann, p. 187 [E. T. 216]. We are not to think of an omission of ἌΝ; see Kühner, l.c. The connection of ἐν κυρίῳ with ὙΠΌΤΑΣΣΕΣΘΕ (Chrysostom, Theophylact, Estius, Rosenmüller, Hofmann, and others)in which case Hofmann imparts into Ὡς ἈΝῆΚΕΝ the abstract idea: as was already in itself fittingis opposed by the position of the words themselves, as well as by the parallel in Col_3:20 : εὐάρεστόν ἐστιν ἐν κυρίῳ.

[164] This domestic code is held by Holtzmann to be an insertion of the interpolator from Eph_5:21 to Eph_6:9. He groundlessly questions the genuineness of the expressions εὐάρεστος, ἀδικεῖν, ἐρεθίζειν, ἰδότης, τὸ δίκαιον, ἁπλότης τῆς καρδίας, and even appeals to the use of ἀνθρωπάρεσκος, ἀνταπόδοσις, and the formula τῷ κυρίῳ Χριστῷ δουλεύειν as direct evidence against its Pauline origin. Might not, however, the word ἀνθρωπάρεσκος have been sufficiently familiar to Paul from the LXX. (Psa_53:5) and otherwise (Lobeck, ad Phryn. p. 621), and have been used by him in the two parallel epistles? Is not ἀνταπόδοσις a term in general use since Thucydides? Is not to serve the Lord Christ a Pauline idea, and even (comp. Rom_16:18) literal expression? The danger of a petitio principii only too easily steals upon even the cautious and sober critic in such points of detail. He finds what he seeks.

Meyer — Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament — English translation by Peter Christie, edited by Frederick Crombie (T&T Clark, 1880) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Col 3:18 . ἀνῆκεν has been taken as a perfect in sense of present (Luther, Bleek, Ol.), a view said by Winer to be “as unnecessary as it is grammatically inadmissible” (Winer-Moulton, 9 p. 338). Usually it is taken as an imperfect, “as was fitting,” and is thought (but this is very dubious) to imply a reproach. Probably ἐν Κυρ . is to be joined to it, not to ὑποτ . ( cf. Col 3:20 ).

Col 3:18 to Col 4:1 . ENFORCEMENT OF THE RECIPROCAL DUTIES OF WIVES AND HUSBANDS, CHILDREN AND PARENTS, SLAVES AND MASTERS, WITH FREQUENT REFERENCE TO THESE DUTIES AS INVOLVED IN THEIR DUTY TO CHRIST. In this section the reference to the subject precedes that to the ruling parties, and the duty of obedience is emphasised to prevent false inferences from the doctrine that natural distinctions are done away in Christ. Holtzmann, Oltramare and Weiss think these precepts are added in protest against the false teachers’ asceticism. The fact that we have similar, and fuller, injunctions in Ephesians tells against this. Eph 5:22 sq. and 1Pe 3:6 may be compared.

The Expositor's Greek Testament, edited by W. Robertson Nicoll (1897–1910) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

18–4:1. The social relations of a household

Col 3:18-19. Wives and Husbands.

Col 3:20-21. Children and Fathers.

Col 3:22 to Col 4:1. Slaves and Masters.

(Col 3:18) Wives! subject yourselves to your husbands, as is, after all, fitting in the Lord; (Col 3:19) Husbands! Love your wives and be not severe to them.

(Col 3:20) Children! obey your parents in all things, for this complete obedience is well pleasing in the Lord; (Col 3:21) Fathers! Be not exasperating to your children, lest they be discouraged.

(Col 3:22) Slaves! obey in all things your earthly lords, not in acts of eye-service as pleasers of men, but with a simple, single, aim, fearing the one Lord. (Col 3:23) Whatever ye do, carry it out willingly as to the Lord and not men, (Col 3:24) knowing, as you do, that from the Lord you shall receive as your due the just recompense of your inheritance above. The Lord, even Christ, I say, serve. (Col 3:25) For, even though you are but slaves, he that does wrong to his earthly lord shall receive back the wrong he did—the Lord above makes no distinction, whatever your position or privileges may be. (Col 4:1) Ye lords! Render on your part justice and fairness to your slaves, knowing well that you as well as they have a Lord in heaven.

18–4:1. Exhortations to the constituent parts of a Household. In each case the weaker part is mentioned first, as in || Eph 5:22 to Eph 6:9. Compare 1Pe 2:18 to 1Pe 3:7 and contrast 1Ti 2:8-15.

The reason why St Paul here goes into such detail is not self-evident. It has been suggested (1) that he wishes to counteract any misunderstanding of Col 3:11, as though he were there proclaiming a social revolution; (2) that he wishes to show that whereas the false teachers urged arbitrary asceticism, he finds that “the daily round, the common task,” supplies all that is needed for the manifestation of the Christian life. But (3) it is obvious that after the high, not to say transcendental, description of the basis, and the possibilities, of life in Christ, which he has given us in cc. 1 and 2, it is very natural that he should point out how this life is to manifest itself in the everyday relations of family life. In Col 3:13 he has already given an instance of the way in which Christ is our example and standard.

18. αἱ γυναῖκες. On the article and nominative used as the vocative see Blass, Gram. § 33. 4. Moulton, op. cit. pp. 70, 235. Cf. Mat 11:26; Luk 8:54. This is the typical form of the vocative in Hebrew, the article lending itself with special ease to the Hebrew love of pictorial effect.

ὑποτάσσεσθε, “subject yourselves.” To children and slaves he says ὑπακούετε (Col 3:20; Col 3:22), i.e. obey single commands, but here he speaks of the general attitude (compare Rom 13:1), consistent with the natural state of things (1Co 11:3). Compare ὑποτάσσεσθαι of women in 1Co 14:34; Eph 5:24; Tit 2:5; 1Pe 3:1.

ὡς ἀνῆκεν, “as is fitting.”

In the N.T. peculiar to this group of Epistles, Eph 5:4; Phm 1:8. In the LXX. it is used figuratively of “coming up to” and pertaining to” either persons (1Ma 10:42; 1Ma 11:35 ter) or a moral notion (Ecclus. Prol. l. 9, τῶν εἰς παιδείαν καὶ σοφίαν ἀνηκόντων; 2Ma 14:8), and then of coming up to an ideal, i.e. being fit and suitable in the abstract (1Ma 10:40, “and I give every year 15,000 shekels of silver from the king’s revenues, ἀπὸ τῶν τόπων τῶν ἀνηκόντων”). This last sense alone occurs in the N.T.

Observe that St Paul uses not the present but the imperfect as. in Eph 5:4 (ἅ οὐκ ἀνῆκεν, W.H.). “The past tense perhaps implies an essential à priori obligation” (Lightfoot). Gildersleeve, Gk Synt. § 220, seems to call such an imperfect the “Imperfect of Sudden Appreciation of Real State of Affairs.” In this case the sentence would mean, “Submit yourselves to your husbands, which is, after all, fitting in the Lord.”

ἐν κυρίῳ, Col 3:20, Col 4:7 = in a life ruled by Christ.

Cambridge Greek Testament for Schools and Colleges (Cambridge University Press, 1896; 21 vols, various authors incl. Carr, Maclear, Plummer, Farrar, Lumby, Moule, M. R. James, Simcox) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

For those wives do not well, that do not set God in Christ before them in their love, but this Philosophy knoweth not.

He goeth from precepts which concern the whole civil life of man, to precepts pertaining to every man’s family, and requireth of wives, subjection in the Lord.

Geneva Bible (1599) marginal notes — public domain. Text via Bolls.life.

unto your own husbands--The oldest manuscripts omit "own," which crept in from Eph 5:22.

as it is fit in the Lord--Greek, "was fit," implying that there was at Colosse some degree of failure in fulfilling this duty, "as it was your duty to have done as disciples of the Lord."

Jamieson, Fausset & Brown — Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible (1871) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

Verse 18. Wives, submit yourselves] Having done with general directions, the apostle comes to particular duties, which are commonly called relative; because they only belong to persons in certain situations; and are not incumbent on all. No woman has the duty of a wife to perform but she who is one, and no man has the duty of a husband to perform but he who is married.

The directions here to wives, husbands, children, parents, servants, and masters, are so exactly the same in substance with those in Eph 5:22-33(note); Eph 6:1-9 (note), that there is no need to repeat what has been said on those passages; and to the notes there the reader is requested to refer.

As it is fit in the Lord.] God commands it; and it is both proper and decent.

Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible (1810–1826) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

18 Wives, be subject. Now follow particular duties, as they are called, which depend on the calling of individuals. In handling these it were superfluous to take up many words, inasmuch as I have already stated in the Epistle to the Ephesians almost everything that was necessary. Here I shall only add briefly such things as are more particularly suited to an exposition of the passage before us.

He commands wives to be subject. This is clear, but what follows is of doubtful signification — as it is fit in the Lord. For some connect it thus — “Be subject in the Lord, as it is fit.” I, however, view it rather differently, — As it is fit in the Lord, that is, according to the appointment of the Lord, so that he confirms the subjection of wives by the authority of God. He requires love on the part of husbands, and that they be not bitter, because there is a danger lest they should abuse their authority in the way of tyranny.

John Calvin's Commentaries (1540-1563) — public domain. Text from the Calvin Translation Society English edition (1840s-50s) via the Christian Classics Ethereal Library (ccel.org). Calvin's coverage is partial (roughly two-thirds of the Bible); uncommented books and verses are honest gaps, never fabricated. The 19th-century editor's footnotes and remarks are omitted so the notes are faithfully Calvin's own voice.

18–4:1. Universal Holiness: relative duties

18. Wives] Cp. 1Pe_3:1-6 and the close parallel, with its large expansion, Eph_5:22, &c.

The Christian Home, the masterpiece of living Christianity, is now presented as the special field for the practice of the holy principles just stated.

submit yourselves] with the noble loyalty of “the weaker vessel” to the husband who, in the order of nature (i.e. of God its Orderer), is the leader in the marriage union. No submission as of a vassal is meant; the man is (1Pe_3:7) to “give honour to the wife.” Her relative attitude is to be that of every Christian to every other (Eph_5:21; 1Pe_5:5), the attitude of unselfish service, only emphasized by the special fact of man’s ordained leadership.

own] The word is probably to be omitted; a natural and obvious gloss upon the text.—Cp. 1Co_7:2 for the apostolic prohibition of polygamy.

fit in the Lord] The order of nature is thus affirmed by grace. Wifely loyalty is not only a human but a Christian law; it has relation to union with Christ. See at large Eph_5:22-24.

“Is fit”:—lit., “was fit.” Lightfoot compares our past tense in “I ought,” and says that in such phrases is perhaps implied an essential a priori obligation.

The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges (gen. ed. J. J. S. Perowne; Cambridge University Press, 1878–1918) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,.... The apostle proceeds from those duties which related to them as church members one towards another, for their mutual good and edification, and the glory of God, to such as concerned them in their own houses and families, as in a natural relation to each other; as husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants; showing hereby, that the Gospel does not at all break in upon, but establishes the duties of common and civil life. Concerning the duty wives to their husbands, here exhorted to; see Gill on Eph 5:22. The reason urging to a regard to it is,

as it is fit in the Lord; that is, Christ, as the Syriac version reads it. Subjection of wives to their own husbands is "fit" and proper in its own nature, by reason of the original creation of man, and of the woman from him: man was made first, and then the woman; and the woman was made out of the man, out of one of his ribs; and so, though not to be trampled under his feet, but to be by his side, and an help meet to him, yet not to be head, or to rule over him. Moreover, the woman was made for the man, and not the man for the woman; add to this, that the woman was in the transgression, and the means of the fall of man, which gave a fresh reason for, and made the obligation to subjection to him the stronger: and it is also a "decent" and becoming thing for wives to be subject to their husbands; for as it is giving honour to them, it is a real ornament to themselves, and is one of those good works which women professing godliness should adorn themselves with; and makes more comely and beautiful than broidered hair; gold, pearls, or costly array, yea, than their natural favour and beauty: it is what is fitting "in the Lord": it is what he requires, not only what the law of God requires, see Co1 14:34 and which was enjoined originally, see Gen 3:16 and was charged as a duty under the legal dispensation; but is what is commanded by Christ under the Gospel dispensation, and is to be observed by all those that are "in" him, that profess to be new creatures, converted persons, that so the word of God be not blasphemed, and the enemy have no occasion to reproach, see Tit 2:5 though this phrase may also be considered as a restriction and limitation of this subjection; that though it reaches to all things, yet only to such as are agreeable to the will of the Lord, and not contrary to the Gospel of Christ; for in these they are not to be subject to them, but to Christ the Lord; but in all other things they are, even as the church is subject to Christ: and when this is the case, such subjection is regarded by Christ as if it was done to himself; and indeed his honour and glory should be the governing view in it; see Eph 5:22.

John Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible (1746–1763) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Ver. 18. Wives, submit yourselves] Inferiors are ordered before superiors to teach them to do duty before they expect it. Love descendeth, duty ascendeth. Submit is a short word, but of large extent. It comprehendeth, 1. Reverence; "Let the wife see that she reverence her husband," Eph 5:33, as Sarah did, and is chronicled for it, 1Pe 3:6. But God hath a barren womb for mocking Michal. 2. Obedience to all his lawful commands and restraints, as the Shunammite, 2Ki 4:22, and the Shulamite, who lives by Christ’s laws, and yields to his will, direction, and discretion.

As it is fit] Ut decet, as it is comely; and women love comeliness, delight to be neat. Hereby shall appear comely, first, to God, 1Pe 3:4. Next, to men in the gate, Pro 31:23; Pro 31:31. Thirdly, to their husbands and children, Pro 31:28. Fourthly, to all, even opposites, as being an ornament to sincerity and holiness, Tit 2:3.

In the Lord] Though the husband’s will be crooked (so it be not wicked), the wife’s will is not straight in God’s sight, if not pliable to his. Sed liberum arbitrium, pro quo tantopere contenditur, viri amiserunt, uxores arripuerunt, saith an author.

John Trapp, A Commentary or Exposition upon All the Books of the Old and New Testament (1647–1656) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Wives, submit yourselves ... - Notes on the parallel passage in Eph 5:21-24.

Albert Barnes' Notes on the Bible (1834–1885) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

The apostle, entering upon an exhortation to relative duties, begins first with that which wives owe to their husbands to whom they are married, by reason this relation is the first in nature, and the fountain whence the rest do flow, Gen 2:22; Psa 127:3; 128:3; Pro 5:15,16. That which he requires is self-submission in every thing, see Eph 5:22, expressing a subjection with reverence, Eph 5:24,33; 1Pe 3:1. The God of order made the woman inferior, Gen 2:18,22; 3:16; 1Co 11:7-9; 1Ti 2:13; Tit 2:5; yet her submission is not to be servile, as that of a handmaid, but conjugal, as of a meet companion.

As it is fit in the Lord; suitable to God’s institution, in a becoming manner, agreeable to the mind of Christ, Act 5:29; 1Pe 3:7.

Matthew Poole's English Annotations on the Holy Bible (1683–1685) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

SECTION VIII THE CHRISTIAN VIEW OF FAMILY DUTIES. We note that in each of the three family relations here dealt with, the subordinate party is first addressed, and the duty of submission is primarily insisted upon (vers. 18, 20, 22: comp. 1Pe_2:13, 18 3:1-6) So in Eph_5:21-24 Eph_6:1-3, Eph_6:5-8. There may have been some special reason for this in the state of the Asiatic Churches or of Greek society in that region. But other indications show (1Co_7:24 1Co_11:3-16 1Co_14:34, 1Co_14:35; Gal_5:13; 1Th_4:11; 2Th_3:11, 2Th_3:12; 1Ti_2:11, 12 6:1, 2; Tit_2:5, 9 10 3:1) that the apostle perceived and sought to check the danger of unsettlement in the natural order of family and social life which often attends great spiritual revolutions, especially when they are in the direction of religious liberty. As in the case of Luther, the apostle"s later teaching is largely directed against the antinomianism which resulted, by way of perversion and abuse, from the preaching of salvation by grace and of the sanctity of the individual believer (comp. introductory note to this chapter). Observe how the Lord and his authority are made to furnish a higher sanction for each of these natural duties.

Ye wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fit in the. (Eph_5:22-24; 1Ti_2:11-15; Tit_2:5; 1Co_11:3 1Co_14:34, 1Co_14:35; 1Pe_3:1-6; Gen_3:16) On this duty the apostle dilates in the Ephesian letter, in illustration of its teaching respecting "Christ and the Church". (comp. the very different treatment of it in 1Pe_3:1-7) The use of the article (aiJ gunaikev) in the nominative of address is frequent in New Testament, though not in classical Greek. Lightfoot thinks it Hebraistic. Anhken stands in the imperfect tense (literally, it was fit), denoting a normal propriety. (comp. Eph_5:4, Westcott and Hort; and for the general expression, 1Co_11:13, 1Co_11:14; Phm_1:8; Eph_5:3; 1Ti_2:10; Php_4:8; Rom_1:29) Like all men of a sound moral nature, St Paul has a strong sense of natural propriety. The adjunct "in the Lord" belongs to "was fit," not "be subject" (comp. ver. 20). The constitution of nature, as we have learnt in Col_1:15-18, is grounded "in the Lord." In Eph_5:22-33 St. Paul shows that this inherent propriety has a deep spiritual significance; and he makes the subjection of the Church to her heavenly Lord a new reason for wifely submission.

Ver. 18 Col_4:1 Sect. 8.

The Christian view of family duties.

Certain general considerations bearing on the family and social constitution of life may be drawn from the teaching of this section.

1. We note that the apostle brings each of the three primary relationships ofwhich he speaks into connection with "the Lord." The natural order of human life is grounded in Christ. If "all things were created and do consist in him", (Col_1:16, Col_1:17) then, amongst the rest, this also and in chief. For man in his relation to the world around him is "the image of God," even as Christ is to the whole universe (1Co_11:7; Jam_3:9; Gen_1:26 Ps 8) And man is not a solitary individual; he is a social being, a race unity. And those relations which are essential and fundamental to human society marriage, sonship, service have, most of all, their spiritual type and creative ground in Christ. Thisis obvious in the case of the two latter relations; as to the first, see Eph_5:22-32.

1. The intrinsic fitness of a right discharge of natural duties is affirmed in the first case (ver. 18), and implied in the other two. The apostle

2. recognizes and appeals more than once to the sense of ethical propriety, that which "nature itself teaches", (1Co_11:14) which belongs to the universal conscience surviving in our nature though fallen and debased. All true sentiments of natural morality the Christian revelation reaffirms and supports with its effectual sanctions, "as is fit in the Lord". (Php_4:8) Their consciousness of the right as the beautiful (ton) was a sound and valuable element in the teaching of the best Greek moralists. They regarded conduct as a work of art, in which grace and fitness were to be studied, and the perfection of an ideal beauty to be the aim of life. While men may have, as a rule, a stronger sense of the right, women better understand the fitting; and it is in regard to the place and duties of woman that St. Paul appeals to convictions of moral fitness and decorum. (comp. 1Co_11:13; 1Ti_2:10)

3. We are taught, indirectly, to cherish a pleasant and cheerful temper in domestic life. Bitterness (ver. 19) and harshness, with the distrust and timidity which they engender (ver. 21), and a sullen or constrained obedience (ver. 23), are forbidden; and these are the common elements of domestic unhappiness. Where the husband is gentle, and the father tender though strict, and the master considerate, and the servants willing and honestly anxious to please, there all goes well. Whatever storms may beat upon that house from without, there is peace and sunshine within. And this is "well pleasing in the Lord.

1. The principle of authority is steadfastly maintained throughout. (Vers. 18, 20, 22.) In every house that is not to be "divided against itself," there must be a single head, a ruling will, a definite centre of power and direction. And that power God has placed, as a solemn trust, in the hands of the husband, father, master, who is in his prerogative within his own house an image of Christ in the Church (Eph_5:23; Col_4:1) of God himself, the Father of men. (Heb_12:9) This principle is the corner-stone of order in human society. Here is "pure religion breathing household laws" (Wordsworth).

I HUSBAND AND WIFE. (Vers. 18, 19.) The marriage relation stands first, being the basis of the family, which again is the basis of society and of the community of mankind. "He which made them from the beginning, made them male and female". (Mat_19:4-6) Marriage is to be "had in honour among all" (Heb_13:4; 1Ti_4:1-3) and not merely the criminal act, but any impure word, thought, or look which offends against its sanctity, "defiles the man" from whom it proceeds, offends in an especial way the Holy Spirit of God, and brings down his wrath upon the offender (Mat_5:27, Mat_5:28; Mar_7:20-23; 1Th_4:3-8; 1Co_6:13-20) The degree of honour and reverence in which it is held in any society largely, determines the degree of soundness in its moral condition. Where the opposite vices prevail, whether secretly or openly practised, general moral corruption and decay set in (see homiletics, sect, 7, II 1).

1. On the one side, there is to be submission. The apostle says, "Children, servants, obey" (vers. 20, 22); but not Wives, obey your husbands:" "Be in subjection" (ver. 18) is a gentler and fitter term to use. Obedience implies a certain distance and inferiority that has no place here. There is something wrong on one side, or on both, when the husband gives formal orders to his wife. There should be such an intimacy of mutual understanding and sympathy between them, that they seem to have but one mind and will in all common matters, And while to that single mind the wife contributes the queenly influence of her insight and persuasion, she will feel and show that resolve and direction belong to him and not to her. The final responsibility for the business of the house devolves on the husband, by the ordinance of God and by the nature of things, which are but two expressions of the same fact. (1Co_11:3-15) It is his part to "rule well his own house". (1Ti_3:4)

2. It was not so needful to say, "Wives, love your husbands;" though the apostle once enjoins this, in speaking of "the younger women" in Tit_2:4. For failure on the wife"s side in this respect is comparatively rare. Butthe man, full of business, often absent, and with his more exacting nature, is more liable to fall into some disloyalty. He allows other company to become more agreeable to him; seeks amusements and pursuits in which his wife cannot join; no longer makes her his confidante and the sharer of his inner life; and allows home to become little more to him than a selfish convenience. And with this selfishness and the uneasiness of conscience that attends it, there supervenes often an irritableness of temper that chafes over every domestic care or trouble, and makes no allowance for infirmities in others; that magnifies every trifling mistake or mishap into an injury, and ignores the wife"s patient affection and eagerness to please. How different is all this from the exalted ideal that St. Paul holds up to the Christian husband! your wife even as Christ loved the Church, and gave himself for her". (Eph_5:25) Bengel"s shrewd and caustic remark on this passage is too often verified: "There are many, who out of doors are civil and kind to all; when at home, towards their wives and children whom they have no need to fear, they freely practise secret bitterness.

II FATHER AND CHILD. (Vers. 20, 21,)

1. From children, obedience to their parents in all things is required, and therefore in many things contrary to their inclination and opinions. Childhood means dependence and ignorance. It is only under the shelter of parental oversight that the incipient faculties and plastic nature of the child can be formed to the strength of judgment and firmness of character which will enable him to meet the tasks and the perils of adult life. And for this discipline to be effective, the submission of the child must be absolute. Only when a parental command plainly contradicts the Law of God and violates the child"s conscience, can any kind of disobedience be justified. In that case, obedience cannot be "well pleasing in the Lord." But even the worst of parents will rarely be found to have so little respect for the conscience of childhood as to enforce such an injunction. The requirement addressed to the child presumes that the parent exacts obedience. This is his inalienable prerogative. Instant, unmurmuring obedience should be made the habit of the child"s life, and as a law of nature to it. To have this understood from the first is the simplest and easiest course. If the child be allowed, through passion or persistence, once successfully to rebel, a mischief is done not easily to be repaired. His own self mastery, and the sense of law and of duty which are to attend him through the whole of life, largely rest on this basis of ingrained obedience. For this purpose, children should be in their earliest years as much as possible under the direct influence of their parents" presence and authority. The parental office cannot be discharged by proxy. And there must be unity of parental administration, as well as harmony between precept and practice, if a true and reverent obedience is to be possible. In no State was the authority of the father (patria potestas) so strict and absolute as in ancient Rome. And there can be little doubt that this stern maintenance of family discipline largely helped to form the Roman character with its extraordinary vigour and tenacity, and to preserve that rigid, firmly knit order and devoted loyalty which were the secret of Rome"s invincible strength.

2. On the other hand, the father must beware lest his authority should wear a needless aspect of severity. His righteous desire to "command his children and his household after him", (Gen_18:19) and his anxious sense of responsibility, may occasion this, if not relieved by more genial influences. The innocent liveliness and the many unintended offences of childhood must not provoke him to ill temper. He must learn by patience and tenderness to win the child"s affection and open-hearted trust, without impairing its submissive reverence. A mechanical, unsympathetic strictness, or an angry and unequal discipline, will fatally alienate the sensitive heart of the child, which in that case either sinks down into a dull, spiritless apathy, or prepares for a passionate revolt when the hour of its strength shall come. Too often those most anxious to commend religion to their children have made it odious by presenting it in forms unintelligible to the young mind, and associating it with tasks unsuited to its powers, and burdens that it found "grievous to be borne." As the child should find in the child Jesus its pattern and model, (Luk_2:40-52) so the parent should seek to be to his children an image of "our Father in heaven.

III MASTER AND SERVANT. (Ver. 22 (Col_4:1) This third relationship is one which we may be sure will continue to exist, however varied the forms it may take, so long as the world stands. And what the apostle says here is of universal application, though slavery has happily given place to free service. Even when our lower classes shall have become so far raised in intelligence and independence that cooperation in industrial labour will become the rule instead of the exception, still there must be some to command, others to obey. Indeed, the more extended and complicated the operations of trade and manufacture become, the more thoroughly labour needs to be organized and authority graduated, and the more entirely success depends on management and discipline and on a right adjustment of the relations of master and servant.

1. From servants Christianity demands, what conscience demands, an honest obedience, that serves as well behind the master"s back as to his face (ver. 22). As a mere matter of commercial advantage, the uniform presence of this quality would be an incalculable economy and enrichment of the community. And religion secures this, directly and of necessity. The man who does his work in God"s sight ever in his great Taskmaster"s eye and as for the judgment day, cannot scamp any part of it. He is serving, not a man like himself, but a heavenly Lord, whose searching eye is always upon him, who understands and can judge every man"s work (ver. 24; 1Pe_1:17), and who has promised infinite rewards for faithfulness in the "few things" of our earthly probation. (Mat_25:21, Mat_25:23) These convictions form the best guarantee, with the mass of men the only sufficient and effectual guarantee, for good work and thorough workmanship in every department of life.

A servant with this clause, Makes drudgery divine; Who sweeps a room as for thy laws, Makes that and the action fine. (George Herbert.)

2. And the Christian master, whether at the head of a farm or a factory, of a commercial house or a private family, will remember that he has his duties along with his rights as a master. He is dealing with human beings, not with machines. The laws of political economy are not to be his only guide. "The nexus of cash payments" can never be the sole link that associates any two men together. Woe be to him if he says, with Cain, "Am I my brother"s keeper?". (Gen_4:9) "Just dealing and fairness" (Col_4:1) must rule in the relations of master and man, if they are to be on a moral and righteous footing. He will not take a hard advantage of his servant"s necessity; or allow, if he can help it, his dealings with him to degenerate into a mere struggle between capital and labour for every inch of vantage. The cruel greed that grasps at immediate gain at whatever cost of toil and poverty to others, and that "grinds the faces of the poor", (Isa_3:15) may enrich the individual, but in the long run is fatal to the class or the trade which practises it. And the rich oppressor will have to appear at a tribunal where "there is no respect of persons" (ver. 25). Political economy itself teaches that ill-paid labour is the most expensive and wasteful. The man who has want and fear gnawing at his heart cannot be a good workman, even if, in spite of extreme temptation, he be an honest one. Injustice and over reaching on the part of the rich and governing classes, political and social institutions that favour "the fat and the strong" at the expense of the weak and poor, (Eze_34:16-27) are sure of God"s heavy judgment. They generate in the hatred excited in those subject to them an explosive force which, with a suitable train of circumstances, will burst forth, as in the French Revolution, in some volcanic upheaval that the strongest social fabric will be unable to resist. Christ"s golden rule of equity (Luk_6:31) is the only safe, as it is the only righteous, basis for the dealings of man with man, of class with class, or of nation with nation in the world"s great polity.

The duties of wives.

The apostle next proceeds to enjoin family duties, not in the spirit of those errorists, who imagined that such duties were vulgar and inconsistent with the contemplative aspect of the Christian life. His first practical exhortation is to wives, and is summed up in the single duty yourselves.

I THE DUTY OF SUBMISSION. "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands." This duty includes:

1. Honour. They must honour their husbands as their head (1Co_11:3; 1Pe_3:6)

2. Truthfulness. (Pro_2:17)

3. Obedience. (Eph_5:23; 1Co_7:34)

4. Cooperation with their husbands in all family affairs. They must "guide the house with discretion". (Tit_2:5)

5. They must not assume authority over their husbands, either inecclesiastical or in domestic affairs. (1Ti_2:14)

II REASONS FOR THIS DUTY. "As it is fit in the Lord." In Oriental countries, woman was the slave rather than the companion of man, but in the Grecized communities of Asia Minor, woman held a higher position, and her new position under the gospel may have led her to carry her freedom to the point of licence. It was, therefore, necessary to define her position accurately. Her subjection to man is "fit in the Lord" on several grounds.

1. From man"s priority of creation. (1Ti_2:13)

2. The woman was made for man, not the man for the woman. (1Co_2:9)

1. The woman"s priority in the original transgression. (1Ti_2:14)

2. The man"s headship over the woman. (1Co_11:3)

3. Her weakness. She is "the weaker vessel", (1Pe_3:7) and therefore stands in need of his greater strength and protection.

4. The subjection to man is placed on the same basis as the subjection of the Church to Christ. (Eph_5:22-24)

5. But the apostle"s language in the text implies a limitation upon hersubmission; for she is to be subject to him "in the Lord." Both husband and wife must have a due consideration for each other"s position, because they are "heirs of the grace of life," and they must see that "their prayers are not hindered". T.C. (1Pe_3:7)

Ver. 1Ti_3:2, 1Ti_3:12) Of necessity, therefore, Christianity takes up the household and sanctifies it. The relation of Christianity to family life is most important. In the present section Paul takes up three relations and shows how love is to regulate them all.

I THE RELATIONS OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES. (Vers 18, 19) Now, it is well known that women did not get justice under the ancient regime, and yet the apostle exhorts the wives to be in subjection to their husbands, as is fitting in the Lord (Revised Version). Christianity has emphasized the passive virtues; it glorifies woman, therefore, by showing to the world how glorious a thing it is to be subject and even to suffer for love. Apparently this is to neglect "women"s rights," but really it has secured them. It is in woman lovingly filling her station that she secures, not only her rights, but absolutely her reign. Husbands, again, are exhorted to give up all bitterness against their wives and to love them. Elsewhere he shows that the measure of the husband"s love is to be the love of Christ for his Church; that is, a love which can be self sacrificing if need be, and which will be considerate at all times. (Eph_5:22-33) In such a case, how harmonious family life proves! The stronger and the weaker natures are blended by love into one. Each has its sphere, and there need be no collision amid the responsibilities of love.

II THE RELATIONS OF PARENTS TO CHILDREN. Here, again, the apostle appeals first to the weaker side. He wishes children to think how pleasing to the Father in heaven obedience is, and, as he has put their parents over them to be obeyed, the children should obey them in all things. There is to be strict obedience in all things to the natural authority. On the other hand, the fathers are exhorted not to provoke the children by their tyranny, lest the little ones be discouraged. Paul saw no such danger from the mother"s rule. A mother comes with a tenderness and sympathy such as the harder nature of the father cannot always command. This exhortation to fathers is surely a great triumph for the mother.

III THE RELATIONS OF MASTERS TO SLAVES. And here, again, Paul appeals first to the slaves. He does not encourage revolt, but the conquest which comes through loving obedience. Let the slave simply obey in the fear and love of God; let him do his work, not in a spirit of eye service as a pleaser of men, but in a spirit of conscientiousness as a slave of Christ, and he may rest assured of compensation from his Master in due season. This is liberty the liberty of love, even though he is still nominally a slave. It is this Christian spirit which has made its mark and won the sympathy of the world, and issued in the emancipation of the slaves. Although Christianity apparently neglected the slaves, it has really been their deliverer. For what has it insisted on among the masters? On justice. Above them it has pointed out a heavenly Master, with whom there is no respect of persons, and who will do right by slave as well as by freeman, and give all their due. The gospel has contended for justice as between man and man, and the world is gradually coming to it. This freedom from respect of persons which characterizes God is a terror at once to the evil-doing slave and to the evil-doing master. If we could bring the world to this, men"s wrongs would soon be righted. We are coming to it, blessed be God, steadily. The Christianized household is thus seen to be a unity. Husbands and wives are united in love"s best bonds. Parents and children are united in beautiful authorities and subordinations. And masters and servants are united as subjects and servants of the one Master in heaven. It is the one God of love, who, as he overshadows all, unifies them in a life of love, which is the greatest witness he can have on earth. Let us see to it that the Christian spirit in all its beautiful and unifying power reigns in our households and fulfils within them the work of God. R.M.E.

Ver. 18-ch. 1Co 13) claims from the husband what Christ gives to the Church his all. And one injunction of that love will be "Be not bitter," i.e. rough, rude. Many a courtier in society is uncouth as a bear at home. Then he is not a Christian husband after this model. "Children, obey." Cultivate the spirit in which the child Jesus went down to Nazareth, and was subject to his parents. Such a going down prepares for the true exaltation; such subjection qualifies for subsequent sovereignty. "Fathers, provoke not." Avoid the harshness, and even the thoughtless exactions from your children by which their spirits will become sullen, hopeless, moody. They will want spirits that parents have helped to make buoyant, not that parents have broken.

III THE MOTIVE FOR FULFILLING THE DUTIES OF FAMILY LIFE IS DIVINE. Whilst secondary motives are thus given to fathers, etc., we find in the passage the highest motive is again and again pressed. "In the Lord," "Well pleasing to the Lord," "As unto the Lord," etc. Such a life as Paul described can only be achieved by the force of sufficient motive. And such motive he supplies. Here is argument enough for such a course of conduct, inspiration enough for such a spirit of family life. "In the Lord." There is a wonderful fulness of meaning in that phrase, as the Greek language employed it. But not a profounder fulness than the Christian experience interprets when it shows Jesus to be the Source of motive, the Standard of duty, the very Sphere of being to the Christ-loving man. U.R.T.

Vers. 18, 19.

Husbands and wives.

Notice the honour given to marriage by Moses, (Gen_2:23, Gen_2:24) and still more by Christ (Mat_5:31, 32 19:3-9) and his apostles (Eph_5:22-33; 1Ti_4:3 1Ti_5:14; Heb_13:4, etc.) Christianity a gospel of great joy to the world"s suffering women. But blessings rest upon law. The nearer marriage is brought to God the more sacred its duties become. In vers. 18, 19 we have in a condensed form rules more fully set forth elsewhere. (1Co 7 Eph 5 Tit 2 1Pe 3) We see exhortations

I TO WIVES. Gathering together some of the precepts scattered through the Epistles, we find a fuller summary of the Christian wife"s duties at home in Tit_2:4, Tit_2:5. (make home the happiest place in the world for both husband and children). In 1Pe_3:1-6 a contrast is drawn between bodily and spiritual attire, between that which may please the eye of frivolous men and women and that which "in the sight of God is of great price;" not the latest Paris fashions, but "the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit" (a lesson especially to Christian matrons to set a safe example to their juniors). The "manner of life" prescribed in both these passages may be attained by a conscientious observance of the exhortation, "be in subjection." Every family must have one head. Though" love is the fulfilling of the Law," if the words "authority" and "subjection" are never to be heard in the home, it must be through a conscientious regard to mutual duties. This subjection is "fitting. "Doth not even nature itself teach?" The satire poured on an imperious wife, and the sympathy felt for a widow deprived of her stay, supply answers. Scripture teaches the preeminence of the husband as illustrated by various relations between the sexes: e.g. the order of creation, (1Ti_2:13) the derivation of, (1Co_11:8) her destiny (Gen_2:20; 1Co_11:7, 1Co_11:9) her share in the first transgression (1Ti_2:14) and penalty, (Gen_3:16) and their relative position in the kingdom of grace. (1Co_11:3) Thus submission is "fitting in the Lord. And the same words remind us of the only limit to it. (Act_4:19 Act_5:29) Two motives are suggested.

1. An ungodly husband may thus be won for Christ (1Pe_3:1; 1Co_7:16)

2. An obedient wife is a living type of Christ"s obedient Church, and is thusa witness to the reality of Christ"s authority in both the family and the Church.

II TO HUSBANDS. "In exhortations the scales should be equally poised" (Chrysostom) as they are here. For what St. Paul has said to wives already suggests to husbands: If our wives are to be such to us, "what manner of persons," etc.?. (2Pe_3:11) Turning to 1Pe_3:7, we see some of the husband"s duties. "Dwell with them" (making home magnetic) "according to knowledge" (the highest wisdom you can gain for governing and guiding), "giving honour," etc. (the honour of esteem, of attention to the latest day of life, of confidence, etc.). These duties are summed up here in "love". (Rom_13:10) St. Paul does not say, as the complement of ver. 18, "Govern them," but "Love them." The loving husband will secure the dutiful wife. Motives are suggested both by reason and revelation.

1. A wife is, by God"s appointment, part of our very selves. (Eph_5:31, Eph_5:28) Marriage is a union of souls. "Bitter against them? against those we have taken into the very shrine of our lives? Plutarch tells us, "They who did sacrifice at the rites of Juno took out the gall of the victim and threw it away, signifying by the ceremony that it was not fit that bile and bitterness should enter into the married state." W. Jay quotes Eph_5:29 thus: man ever yet hated his own flesh," but many a monster has done so.

1. A wife is the weaker vessel physically, not spiritually. Further motives,addressed to the godly, are:

2. You are "heirs together of the grace of life." Disunion will hinderprayers (Mat_18:19) and progress in your pilgrimage.

3. A husband"s love is to be a copy of Christ"s love, (Eph_5:25-27) self sacrificing, purifying, winning the allegiance of the whole nature.

Learn:

1. The grave responsibility of entering the marriage relation. Take no oneas a wife for whom you cannot cherish the love of esteem; or as a husband whom you cannot reverence as worthy of being a guide and a stay.

2. The duty of Christians to marry "only in the Lord" (ver. 17; 1Co_7:39)

3. The preciousness of a spiritual bond which shall survive the dissolutionof the marriage tie by death. E. S. P. (Luk_20:35, Luk_20:36)

Vers. 18, 19.

Husbands and wives. (See on Eph_5:22, Eph_5:23) W.F.A.

The Pulpit Commentary (1880–1919), ed. H.D.M. Spence-Jones & Joseph S. Exell — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Wives, submit - Or be subject to. It is properly a military term, alluding to that entire submission that soldiers pay to their general. Eph. v, 22, &c.

John Wesley, Explanatory Notes Upon the Whole Bible (1754–1765) — public domain. Text via the GEBible commentary corpus.

The conduct of Christians in various stations in life:

v. 18. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

v. 19. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

v. 20. Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord.

v. 21. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

v. 22. Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God.

v. 23. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men,

v. 24. knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance; for ye serve the Lord Christ.

v. 25. For he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done; and there is no respect of persons.

See Eph 5:22-33; Eph 6:1-8. In giving specific instructions to individual classes of Christians the apostle addresses himself first to the wives: Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it should be in the Lord. The submission of the wife to the husband is in agreement with the order of God in creation, 1Ti 2:13, not an absolute obedience, but one which every Christian wife cheerfully yields in the Lord, as it should be. As all Christians willingly acknowledge the headship of Christ and gladly obey Him according to His revealed Word, so Christian wives acknowledge the headship of their husbands and permit them to be the leaders in all matters which do not oppose the Word of God. That nevertheless an ideal marriage can and should be a partnership goes without saying.

But the husband, as the responsible head, also has a specific duty: Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. The leadership, the headship, of the husband should be exercised in love, not merely the conjugal love, which would at best be subject to great fluctuations, but with the steady, unwavering affection, of which he has an example in the love of Christ for the Church, Eph 5:25-33. This love cannot permit bitterness to creep in and spoil the relationship which the will of God demands. The man is neither master of his wife nor slaveholder with respect to her, but the husband, who will never cause bitterness to arise in her heart by irritable harshness on his part. Indifference and neglect on the part of the husband, whether that be due to the cares and worries of his work or business or to the changing moods of the flesh, cannot be excused.

To the children the apostle says: Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing in the Lord. The phrase "in all things" is synonymous with the "in the Lord" of the parallel passage, Eph 6:1. The statement is purposely general; for parents are the representatives of God over against their children, and their authority is that of the Lord. An unwilling, grumbling obedience on the part of the children is just as directly against the letter and spirit of this admonition as outright disobedience. The Lord wants willing hearts, a service on the part of the children which flows from faith and a grateful heart toward God, whose gifts the parents are.

But no less urgent is the apostle’s admonition to the parents: Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they be disheartened. This requires a great deal of wisdom and patience. For if parents are over severe, unjust, capricious in the treatment of their children, if they irritate them by exacting, harsh commands and perpetual faultfinding, such a foolish exercise of parental authority may easily discourage the children, may break their spirit, may cause them to lose all affection and confidence, all pleasure and power for good and against evil.

The longest admonition of the series is addressed by Paul to the servants, in this case the slaves, probably on account of the incident in which Onesimus was involved. He writes: Servants, obey in all things those that are your masters according to the flesh, not in eye-service as men-pleasers, but in singleness of the heart, fearing the Lord. The statement "in all things" is naturally modified by the limitation set by God Himself, Act 5:29. Slaves are bound to yield obedience to their earthly lords; that is the will of God. Their work should not be done with acts of eye-service, namely, that they show all eagerness while the eye of the master rests upon them, and afterwards idle and loaf away the time. In that case they would be mere men-pleasers, they would consider the performance of their duty to consist only in gaining the approval of their masters. A Christian servant will remember that his first duty is toward the Lord, that he should strive to please Him, and that he should therefore perform his work in singleness of heart and purpose, not with the double-dealing which accompanies mere eye-service. A Christian servant is always conscious of the presence of God, for whom he has the highest feeling of respectful regard. His aim is, above all, to gain the approbation of his heavenly Father.

It follows, then: Whatever you do, do it from the heart as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. Although Christian servants are in the immediate service of men, as far as appearances go, they should know that in reality they are in the service of God. All their labor, therefore, must be done heartily and with a right good will. And all this should be their willing obedience all the more because they should know that the Lord would give them the reward, or recompense, of mercy. The Lord will look upon the faithful labor of every servant and every workman as a continuous good work for Christ’s sake and will reward him accordingly. In the inheritance which is promised to them as the children of God the slaves would have the full recompense for all their hard labor in the service of their masters here on earth.

They must never forget, therefore: Serve the Lord Christ, for he that does wrong will bear what he has done wrong, and there is no respect of persons This is a warning from the Law: Every person reaps what he sows. For although the Christians, and also the Christian slaves, are no longer under the Law as believers, they are always in danger, on account of the weakness and perversity of their old flesh and evil nature, to yield to sin in some form. In that case they must remember that the evildoer must bear the curse and punishment of his evil. At the same time, the terrible part of the warning is contained in the fact that the wrong done here on earth and enduring for only a few moments will be punished with eternal destruction. Obedience and faithfulness is required of Christian servants, and those that deliberately transgress in this respect, probably with the plea that they have become partakers of the true Christian liberty, will find that God will not overlook misdeeds or idleness. It makes no difference to Him whether the sinner occupies a high social position in the world or is reckoned with the very lowliest of men; He judges the heart.

On the other hand, therefore, the masters should also heed the warning, Col 4:1. Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal, knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven.

The treatment which any master accords to those under his authority, and especially to slaves, should be determined by justice and equity, not by caprice. Masters should regard their slaves, OR their side, as far as they are concerned, as human beings with themselves, like themselves. On the social, historical side there may be a wide difference in their stations, but by creation all men are equal before God, and that fact must never be forgotten. The almighty and just Lord in heaven will call every master to account for the treatment accorded those entrusted to his authority.

Summary

The apostle directs the thoughts of his readers heavenward, admonishes them to put off the old man, the sinful members on earth, and to put on the new man with all the Christian virtues, sustained by a rich use of the Word of God; he gives brief regulations to wives and husbands, to children and parents, to slaves and masters.

Paul E. Kretzmann, Popular Commentary of the Bible (1921–1924) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Observe here, 1. That St. Paul, in the former part of this chapter, having laid down general exhortations, to live suitably to the gospel which the Colossians had received, comes now, in the close of the chapter, to exhort them to the practice fo particular duties in their respective places and relations, as husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants.

Learn hence, That the doctrine of the gospel lays the highest and strictest obligations upon all those to whom it is revealed, to perform every personal and relative duty in an holy and acceptable manner, both to God and man.

Observe, 2. The wives duty of subjection here required; Submit yourselves to your own husbands. This implies and comprehends in it, a reverend esteem of them, an affectionate love unto them, speaking respectfully of them, and to them, and yielding obedience to their commands.

Observe also, The qualification and manner of this subjection, as it is fit in the Lord, that is, in all lawful things, and in obedience to the Lord’s commands, and not in anything contrary to his will. Thus obeying, the woman’s subjection is service done to Christ; which may comfort her, in case of any unkind returns from her husband to her.

William Burkitt's Expository Notes on the New Testament (1700–1703) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

ARGUMENT 16

DOMESTIC GOVERNMENT

18. “Wives, submit to your husbands, as it becometh you in the Lord.” Out of God’s will, you are not to obey; but take a thrashing, if he gives it, for Jesus’ sake.

The whole problem of family government is to be in the Lord. When the commandment is out of harmony with the Word, Spirit, and providence of God, you are not to obey, but meekly suffer abuse and even flagellation for Christ’s sake, esteeming it a great blessing to endure contumely, insult, and persecution in Jesus’ name.

19. “Ye husbands, love your wives with Divine love, and be not bitter toward them.” No sinner can obey this commandment. Hence, God requires every man to get religion before he takes a wife. It is the privilege of every sinner to receive a wife; but God’s order is to get converted first, as no man can love his wife with Divine love until the Holy Ghost pours it out in his heart. Hence, all domestic trouble arises from the deficiency of grace in the heart.

20. “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing in the Lord.” Here we see that filial obedience, like that of the wife, is to be in the Lord. If your parents order you to commit sin, disobedience, for Christ’s sake, becomes your duty, never resisting, but patiently suffering for Christ’s sake.

21. “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, lest they may be discouraged.” Your little children have inherited evil tempers from you, which are little rattlesnakes in them, feeding and thriving on fret, humor, teasing, and all sorts of provocation. So be cheerful and kind, yet positive and firm with your little ones, doing nothing to fret, worry, or arouse their evil tempers. Parents vainly think they can castigate the evil tempers out of their children. It is a great mistake; they will only feed them, and develop a rapid growth. The true plan is by cheerfulness, love, kindness, and firmness to avoid everything that would “provoke them to wrath,” and thus bear with them patiently till Jesus comes along with the sword of the Spirit, and cuts off every snake-head. When they get sanctified wholly, they will have no evil tempers to provoke.

22. “Slaves, obey your masters according to the flesh in all things, not with eye service as men pleasers, but in purity of heart fearing the Lord.” This beautiful law of perfect love is to establish mutual brotherhood, even between the master and slave; the former with his eye on the great white throne where his Master sits; and the latter with his eye on Jesus, oblivious of his servitude to an earthly master, but delighted with his most servile and menial duties, which he cheerfully and patiently performs for Christ’s sake, transported with rapture night and day, dreaming that he serves the Lord alone. In this way many a servant wins souls for his Master, to shine like stars in his crown through all eternity. Years ago, in time of slavery, an old Southern bishop related an incident in a Kentucky Conference, which I here subjoin illustratively:

A very wealthy Southern planter, Owning several hundred slaves, and, of course, by his money power ruling the Church of which he was a member, was so fond of his pastor’s company, that he carried him about with him to fashionable watering-places and other pleasure resorts, cheerfully pouring out his money, living like kings, delighted with the funny jokes and entertaining conversation of the cultured clergyman, who thought he was doing a land-office business in his pastorate, so perfectly satisfying the man who held his circuit by the foretop. Eventually, that awful scourge of the Southland takes hold of the millionaire. He burns as in a furnace, despite all medical aid, which, far and wide. from the beginning has been laid under contribution for the arrest of the destroyer and the recover of the valuable man. A council is held early in the morning of the ninth day. All hope having evanesced, the physicians mutually agree to notify him that his end is nigh. The wife, awfully excited. orders a servant to run for the preacher. The suffering husband countermands: “No, wife; don’t send for him, for I don’t want to see him. While I lived in pleasure I enjoyed his company; but now that I have to die, I don’t want to see him.” “Well,” says the wife, “whom shall I send for?” “Call in Tom [he was the slave who drove his carriage]; I have often heard him praying and shouting about the barnyard. I do believe he has got the true religion.” In a moment Tom tips his hat at the door. “Massa, what do you want?” “Tom, I have to die, and I want the kind of religion you have got.” “Massa, you can have it; the Lord has plenty of it.” “Pray for me, Tom.” Down on his knees goes the sable Ethiopian, and O how he prays for his dear old master! It seems that the roof will certainly fly off to let heaven drop down. Tom prays, and his master prays. Tom exhorts and shouts, and, while the hours go by, the throne of grace is terribly besieged. Before the sun goes down, the dying man says, “Come here, Tom, and let me hug you; you are the prettiest man I ever saw. Glory to God! I am not afraid to die!”

William B. Godbey, Commentary on the New Testament (1896–1900) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Connecting Statement:

Paul then gives some special instructions to wives, husbands, children, fathers, slaves, and masters.

Wives, submit to

"Wives, obey"

it is appropriate

"it is proper" or "it is right"

do not be bitter against

"do not be harsh with" or "do not be angry toward"

do not provoke your children

"do not needlessly make your children angry"

unfoldingWord translationNotes — © Distant Shores Media and the Door43 World Missions Community, licensed CC BY-SA 4.0. Source: git.door43.org/Door43/en_tn.

18-4:1.] Special exhortations to relative social duties: 18, 19, to the married: 20, 21, to children and parents: 22-4:1, to slaves and masters. Seeing that such exhortations occur in Ephesians also in terms so very similar, we are not justified, with Chrys., al., in assuming that there was any thing in the peculiar circumstances of the Colossian church, which required more than common exhortation of this kind. It has been said, that it is only in Epistles addressed to the Asiatic churches, that such exhortations are found: but in this remark the entirely general character of the Epistle to the Ephesians is forgotten. Besides, the exhortations of the Epistle to Titus cannot be so completely severed from these as to be set down in another category, as Eadie has endeavoured to do. See throughout the section, for such matters as are not remarked on, the notes to Eph 5:22-9.

18. ὡς ἀνῆκεν] The verb is in the imperfect—as ἔδει and χρῆν, conveying always in its form a slight degree of blame, as implying the non-realization of the duty pointed out—just as when we say, ‘It was your duty to,’ &c. See Winer, § 40. 3, end. The words ἐν κυρίῳ belong to ἀνῆκεν, not to ὑποτάσεσθε; as is shewn by the parallel expression in ver. 20: was fitting, in that element of life designated by ἐν κυρίῳ.

Henry Alford, The Greek Testament (1849–1861) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

18. αἱ γυναῖκες,κ.τ.λ. Comp. Eph 5:22.

ἰδίοις, prefixed in Rec. Text to ἀνδράσιν, has but slight support, and has probably come from Eph 5:22.

ὡς ἀνῆκεν, imperfect, as often in Greek writers with similar verbs. Comp. Eph 5:4, ἃ οὐκ ἀνῆκεν; Act 22:22, οὐ γὰρ καθῆκεν αὐτὸν ζῇν. It is not implied here that the duty has not hitherto been rightly performed, but only that the obligation existed previously.

The use of the past tense in the English “ought” is not quite parallel, since the present “owe” cannot be used in this sense.

ἐν Κυρίῳ is to be joined with ἀνῆκεν, not with ὑποτάσσεσθε; see ver. 20, εὐάρεστόν ἐστιν ἐν Κυρίῳ, “for those who are in the Lord.”

International Critical Commentary — older volumes (1896–1929), various authors — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Wives, etc. Compare the parallel passages, Eph 5:22 - vi. 9. See also 1Pe 2:18 - iii. 7; Tit 2:1 - 5.

Is fit [ανηκεν] . See on Phl 1:8. The imperfect tense, was fitting, or became fitting, points to the time of their entrance upon the christian life. Not necessarily presupposing that the duty remained unperformed.

Lightfoot illustrates by ought, the past tense of owed, and says, "the past tense perhaps implies an essential a priori obligation."

In the Lord. Connect with is fitting, and compare well - pleasing in the Lord, ver. 20.

Marvin R. Vincent, Word Studies in the New Testament (1887–1900) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

18–21. ‘Ye wives, be subject to your husbands, for so it becomes you in Christ. Ye husbands, love and cherish your wives, and use no harshness towards them. Ye children, be obedient to your parents in all things; for this is commendable and lovely in Christ. Ye parents, vex not your children, lest they lose heart and grow sullen’.

18 sq. These precepts, providing for the conduct of Christians in private households, should be compared with Ephes. v. 22–vi. 9, 1 Pet. ii. 18–iii. 7, Tit. ii. 1 sq.; see also Clem. Rom. 1, Polyc. Phil. 4 sq.

Αἱ γυναῖκες] ‘Ye wives’, the nominative with the definite article being used for a vocative, as frequently in the New Testament, e.g. Matt. xi. 26, Mark v. 41, Luke viii. 54; see Winer § xxix. p. 227 sq. The frequency of this use is doubtless due to the fact that it is a reproduction of the Hebrew idiom. In the instances quoted from classical writers (see Bernhardy Syntax p. 67) the address is not so directly vocative, the nominative being used rather to define or select than to summon the person in question.

τοῖς ἀνδράσιν] The ἰδίοις of the received text may have been inserted (as it is inserted also in Ephes. v. 24) from Ephes. v. 22, Tit. ii. 5, 1 Pet. iii. 1, 5, in all which passages this same injunction occurs. The scribes however show a general fondness for this adjective; e.g. Mark xv. 20, Luke ii. 3, Acts i. 19, Ephes. iv. 28, 1 Thess. ii. 15, iv. 11.

J. B. Lightfoot, St Paul's Epistles to the Colossians and Philemon: a revised text with introductions, notes and dissertations (London: Macmillan, 1875) — public domain. Electronic text from Project Gutenberg (ebook #50857). Covers Colossians and Philemon only (the verse-by-verse notes; introductions and dissertations are omitted); Lightfoot's companion Galatians and Philippians volumes are not included, as the available public-domain scans carry garbled Greek that cannot be faithfully reproduced.