Proverbs 25:17

Pro 25:17 Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour’s house; lest he be weary of thee, and [so] hate thee.

Ver. 17. Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour’s house.] This is a honey that thou mayest surfeit on, therefore make thy foot precious, or rare (so the original {a} hath it) at thy neighbour’s house, by too oft frequenting whereof thou mayest become cheap, nay, burdensome. At first thou mayest be Oreach, as the Hebrew proverb hath it, i.e., welcome as a traveller that stays for a day. At length thou wilt be Toveach, a charge, a burden. And lastly, by long tarrying, thou shalt be Boreach, an outcast, hunted out of the house that thou hast so immodestly haunted. It is a very great fault among many, saith one, that when they have found a kind and sweet friend, they care not how they encumber him or abuse his courtesy. But, as we say in our common proverb, it is not good to take too much of a frank horse.

{a} Hebraei ponunt rarum pro caro, ut 1Sa 3:1.

John Trapp, A Commentary or Exposition upon All the Books of the Old and New Testament (1647–1656) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Pro_25:17-20

Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbours house.

Bad neighbours

Here are four kinds.

I. The intrusive. It is pleasant to be visited by a neighbour whose interest is genuine. Two evils accrue to those neighbours whose visits are intrusive.

1. They become tiresome. There is nothing fresh about them.

2. They become disliked. The natural consequence of irksomeness. Be not too intimate with any. Livy remarks that the perfection of good behaviour is for a man to retain his dignity without intruding on the liberty of another. Another bad neighbour here indicated is--

II. The slanderous. A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.

1. A maul. This old English word, which is now obsolete, signifies a hammer or a club, an implement used in the rough warfare of fighting men in old times.

2. A sword. Another deadly implement, that by which millions of men have been cut down in all ages.

3. A sharp arrow. Another weapon of destruction. A slanderous neighbour is as mischievous as any or all of these murderous weapons. He knocks, he cuts, he pierces; he destroys you by his tongue. Not your body, but your plans, your prosperity, your reputation, your happiness. Another bad neighbour here indicated is--

III. The faithless. Confidence in an unfaithful man, in time of trouble, is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint.

1. That the unfaithful man fails. Like the broken tooth and the foot out of joint, he fails to fulfil what is required of him. Just when you want to eat, you find that the tooth is broken and useless; just when you rise to walk, you find that your foot is out of joint. Just so with the faithless man. All his old promises of friendship prove to be lies, nothing less.

2. The unfaithful man pains you. In the use of the broken tooth and the disjointed foot when you try them, there is not only disappointment, but torture. Such is the mental distress which is caused by the failure of confidence, in proportion to the degree in which you had cherished it. Especially is this felt in time of trouble, when help is so particularly needed. To trust and be deceived is at any time a bitter trial.

IV. The injudicious. As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart. When you are in trouble there are neighbours whose attempt to comfort you is as absurd and as ineffective as the taking away from a man his garment in cold weather, and as giving to a thirsty man vinegar upon nitre to drink.

1. The injudicious comforter is one who presents incongruous subjects. Sometimes he will talk on worldly subjects, subjects of gain, fashion, and amusement, when the distressed mind is sorely agitated with serious thoughts.

2. The injudicious comforter is one who presents proper subjects in an incongruous spirit. He talks of the right things, but talks of them with a spirit unsympathetic, sometimes undevout, canting, cold, and dogmatic. Such a mans comfort is indeed vinegar on nitre, conflicting, irritating, and painful. (D. Thomas, D.D.)

The Biblical Illustrator, edited by Joseph S. Exell (c. 1880s–1900s) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Pro 25:17. Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour’s house — Visit him not too frequently nor unseasonably: do not, upon every light occasion, interrupt his weightier affairs, nor intrude upon him, and take up his time uninvited and unexpected. Lest he be weary of thee — Lest, having too much of thy company, it grow not only troublesome, but loathsome to him, and his love turn into hatred of thee.

Joseph Benson's Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (1811–1818) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

CRITICAL NOTES.—

Pro_25:17. Withhold. Rather “Make rare.”

Pro_25:18. A maul. An instrument or weapon shod with iron, probably a war-club.

MAIN HOMILETICS OF Pro_25:17

OBTRUSIVENESS

I. We may by indiscretion close a door which we have ourselves opened. There are many things which are pleasant and welcome occasionally, which become not only unwelcome, but annoying, if we have too much of them. We do not desire to hear the sweetest song every day and all the day long—that which is refreshing and delightful now and then becomes wearisome if constantly repeated. We must apply this rule to ourselves in relation to our fellow-men. While we rejoice to feel that there are those who love us so well as to desire our presence upon all occasions, we must remember that most of our acquaintances will not set so high a value upon us, and that to be seen too often where we should be welcome if seen but seldom, is by our own act to shut our neighbour’s door upon us.

II. Our neighbour’s objection to our constant visits may arise from no unkindly feeling. Men who have work to do in the world cannot give all their time, or much of it, to the entertainment of visitors. There are those who, living to no purpose themselves, forget that others feel themselves accountable to God for the use they make of their lives, and such idle people often sorely vex and hinder their busy neighbours by their thoughtless and unseasonable visits. The man who enters a house and takes from a diamond necklace one precious stone after another until he has taken the whole, is doubtless no friend, but a thief and a robber, and is punishable by the law of the land; but the man who enters his neighbour’s house and robs him of hour after hour, steals property which probably cannot be redeemed, or redeemed only by encroaching upon the hours which ought to be given to rest. So that such a thoughtless intruder steals not only his neighbour’s time, but indirectly his health and power to work. Surely such pests of society ought not to have the name of friend bestowed upon them, but deserve to be branded with a name more befitting their character, and more in accordance with their actions.

For Homiletics of Pro_25:18, see on chap. Pro_12:18, page 274.

The Preacher's Complete Homiletical Commentary (gen. ed. Joseph S. Exell; Funk & Wagnalls, c. 1892) — public domain (pre-1929). A full-Bible homiletical/sermon-outline anthology covering 65 of 66 books (2 John is absent from the source module). Text from a community e-Sword module.

Here he mentions another pleasure which we must not take too much of, that of visiting our friends, the former for fear of surfeiting ourselves, this for fear of surfeiting our neighbour. 1. It is a piece of civility to visit our neighbours sometimes, to show our respect to them and concern for them, and to cultivate and improve mutual acquaintance and love, and that we may have both the satisfaction and advantage of their conversation. 2. It is wisdom, as well as good manners, not to be troublesome to our friends in our visiting them, not to visit too often, nor stay too long, nor contrive to come at meal-time, nor make ourselves busy in the affairs of their families; hereby we make ourselves cheap, mean, and burdensome. Thy neighbour, who is thus plagued and haunted with thy visits, will be weary of thee and hate thee, and that will be the destruction of friendship which should have been the improvement of it. Post tres saepe dies piscis vilescit et hospes - After the third day fish and company become distasteful. Familiarity breeds contempt. Nulli te facias nimis sodalem - Be not too intimate with any. He that sponges upon his friend loses him. How much better a friend then is God than any other friend; for we need not withdraw our foot from his house, the throne of his grace (Pro 8:34); the oftener we come to him the better and the more welcome.

Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible (1708–1710) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

Verse 17. Withdraw thy foot] Another proverb will illustrate this: "Too much familiarity breeds contempt."

Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible (1810–1826) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

17. Withdraw thy foot] So Vulg., subtrahe pedem tuum. Lit. make rare thy foot. The R.V. adopts the marginal reading of A.V., Let thy foot be seldom in. σπάνιον εἴσαγε σὸν πόδα πρὸς σεαυτοῦ φίλον, LXX.

The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges (gen. ed. J. J. S. Perowne; Cambridge University Press, 1878–1918) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house,.... Not but that it is commendable to be neighbourly and friendly, or for one neighbour to visit another; but then it should not be very frequent; a man should not be always or often at his neighbour's house. So the words may be rendered, "make thy foot precious" or "rare at thy neighbour's house" (m); be seldom there;

lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee; or, "lest he be sated with thee" (n); filled with thy company to a loathing of it, as the stomach with eating too much honey, and so his friendship be turned into hatred.

(m) "rarum fac", Montanus, Vatablus, Gejerus, Michaelis, Cocceius; Heb. "praetiosum fac", Piscator. (n) "ne forte satictur tui", Schultens; so Montanus; "saturatus", Junius & Tremellius, Piscator.

John Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible (1746–1763) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.

Let thy foot be seldom in the house of thy friend, etc. Though thy visits were sweet as honey, he may soon learn to loathe them.

Albert Barnes' Notes on the Bible (1834–1885) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

Having. Hebrew, "being tired of thee." No man is so perfect, but he will manifest some defect, and become importunate. (Calmet) Nulli te facias nimis sodalem. (Martial)

George Leo Haydock (1774–1849), Haydock's Catholic Family Bible and Commentary, 1859 edition — public domain. Excludes Psalms (Douay-Rheims chapter numbering differs from Protestant) and Deuterocanonical books (Catholic canon only).

Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour’s house, visit him not too frequently nor unseasonably, lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee, as men are apt to loathe those meats of which they surfeit, as was now observed, Pro 25:16.

Matthew Poole's English Annotations on the Holy Bible (1683–1685) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.

17. Withdraw thy foot — Rather, withhold: literally, make it rare or precious: let your visits be so rare that they will be valued. “There may be some connexion intended between this and the preceding. Though thy visits may be as sweet as honey, thy friend may learn to loathe them if too often repeated.”

Daniel D. Whedon (gen. ed.), Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (1874–1909) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour"s house; literaliy, make thy foot precious, rare; Septuagint, "Bring thy foot sparingly (spanion ) into thy friend"s house," The proverb seems to be loosely connected with the preceding, as urging moderation. Do not pay too frequent visits to your neighbors" house, or make yourself too much at home there. The Son of Sirach has an utterance on a somewhat similar subject, "Give place, thou stranger, to an honourable man; my brother cometh to be lodged, and I have need of mine house. Those things are grievous to a man of understanding; the upbraiding of house room, and reproaching of the lender" (Ecc 29:27, etc.). Lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee. Such a result might easily arise from too constant intercourse. Cornelius a Lapide quotes from Seneca ("De Benefic," 1:15), "Rarum esse oportet quod diu carum velis," "That should be rare which you would enduringly bear.

And Martial"s cynical advice"Nulli te facias nimis sodalem; Gaudebis minus, et minus dolebis.

The same poet ("Epigr.," 4:29, 3) writes"Rara juvant; primis sic major gratia pomis, Hibernae pretium sic meruere rosae.

The Pulpit Commentary (1880–1919), ed. H.D.M. Spence-Jones & Joseph S. Exell — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Withdraw - Visit him not too frequently.

John Wesley, Explanatory Notes Upon the Whole Bible (1754–1765) — public domain. Text via the GEBible commentary corpus.

This proverb is of a kindred character to the foregoing. "If thy comrade eats honey," says an Arabic proverb quoted by Hitzig, "do not lick it all up." But the emblem of honey is not continued in this verse:

Make rare thy foot in thy neighbour's house,

Lest he be satiated with thee, and hate thee.

To make one's foot rare or dear from a neighbour's house is equivalent to: to enter it seldom, and not too frequently; הוקר includes in itself the idea of keeping at a distance (Targ. כּלה רגלך; Symmachus, ὑπόστειλον; and another: φίμωσον πόδα σου), and מן has the sense of the Arab. 'an, and is not the comparative, as at Isa 13:12 : regard thy visit dearer than the house of a neighbour (Heidenheim). The proverb also is significant as to the relation of friend to friend, whose reciprocal love may be turned into hatred by too much intercourse and too great fondness. But רעך is including a friend, any one with whom we stand in any kind of intercourse. "Let him who seeks to be of esteem," says a German proverb, "come seldom;" and that may be said with reference to him whom his heart draws to another, and also to him who would be of use to another by drawing him out of the false way and guiding on the right path - a showing of esteem, a confirming of love by visiting, should not degenerate into forwardness which appears as burdensome servility, as indiscreet self-enjoyment; nor into a restless impetuosity, which seeks at once to gain by force that which one should allow gradually to ripen.

Keil & Delitzsch — Biblical Commentary on the Old Testament (1861–1891) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API. (Old Testament only.)

No code of laws enters, as the Bible does, into minute regulations for the courtesies of life. Yet surely we do not mar the sanctity of religion, by spreading it over the face of human society. Daily life is evangelized by the pervading influence of its wholesome principles. This rule illustrates one of our own proverbs, which has lost nothing of its significancy by traditionary usage. ’Familiarity breeds contempt.’ This maxim was however never intended to give a chill to the flow of neighborly love, or to restrain its practical exercise. It only suggests, that kindly intercourse cannot be maintained without a considerate feeling. An ordinary acquaintance would give just umbrage in claiming the free and unrestrained intercourse of intimate friendship. And the intruder would probably receive a plain intimation, that he was an unwelcome guest. To withdraw the foot is an useful rule to prevent so mortifying a result. "Make thy foot precious"†1 to thy neighbor, by not giving it too often. It is far safer to err on the side of reserve, than to incur contempt by the opposite mistake.†2

Nay — even the closer band of friendship requires its measure of prudent restraint. It is worth all our care to preserve this invaluable blessing from interruption. It is the sweet of life. And yet in this honey (Pro 25:16 ) there may be a surfeit. Without mutual respect it may nauseate. Unseasonable interruption to our friend’s time; frequent visits without call or object;†3 interference with his necessary engagements, or family comforts; inconvenient tax of expense — perseverance in this course might produce weariness, if not disgust, or even hatred.

Blessed be God! There is no need of this caution and reserve in our approach unto him. Once acquainted with the way of access, there is no wall of separation. Our earthly friend may be pressed too far. Kindness may be worn out by frequent use. But never can we come to our heavenly Friend unseasonably. Never is he weary of our importunity.†4 His gates are always open; "blessed are they that are watching and waiting there." (Pro 8:34 .) The more frequent the visits, the more welcome, and the more fruitful. What with man would be intrusion, with God is confidence. Earnestly does he invite to his closest and most endearing fellowship. (Song of Son 5:1 .) And does his child presume upon this most gracious privilege? Far from it. While he has the "boldness of access;"†5 he seeks for "grace, whereby he may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear." (Heb 12:28 .)

Footnotes:

†1 Hebrew. See Holden. Compare 1Sa 3:1 — precious in both cases, because rare.

†2 Compare Sir 21:22 . Livy observes, that ’the perfection of behavior is for a man to retain his own dignity, without intruding on the liberty of another.’

†3 See a valuable paper, On the Robbery of Time, in "The Idler," Vol. I. No. 14.

†4 Luk 11:5-9; Luk 18:1 .

†5 Eph 3:12. Heb 4:16 ; Heb 10:19-20 .

Charles Bridges, An Exposition of the Book of Proverbs (1846) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.

Visit your neighbor sparingly Just as, if you find honey, and it is sweet to your palate, you must not eat [too much] of it lest you become sated with it and vomit it, so should you visit your neighbor sparingly, although he is from your midst [of your kin], refrain from going there daily lest he become sated with you and hate you. [Bracketed words appear in Salonica edition only.] According to its homiletic interpretation, do not accustom yourself to sin inadvertently and to constantly bring sin- offerings and guilt-offerings to the house of the Lord, Who is called a friend to Israel, as it is written (Song 5:16): “This is my beloved and this is my friend.”

Rashi on the Tanakh — English translations: “The Judaica Press complete Tanach with Rashi, translated by A. J. Rosenberg” (CC BY 4.0); “Pentateuch with Rashi's commentary by M. Rosenbaum and A.M. Silbermann, 1929-1934” (public domain); “The Metsudah Tanach series, Lakewood, N.J” (CC BY 4.0); and “The Book of Joshua, Metsudah Publications, 1997” (CC BY 4.0). Text via Sefaria.